Colleen: At Large

Sun Ray Shawl, Part One

2007-02-09T09:36:00.000-05:00

I have been a lousy blogger as of late. Whatever. Here's a picture:

This is the Sun Ray Shawl. It's my project du jour. It is a pattern from elann.com, just like the Flower Petal Shawl. I am making in in elann's Peruvian Highland Wool, Tranquil Lagoon colorway.

I've found I really enjoy knitting lace, whether it be in true lace weight yarn or worsted like Sun Ray. The nice thing about knitting lace in worsted weight yarn is the fact you feel like you're actually making progress. This is moving pretty quickly and I cannot WAIT to wear it!

Some knitters hace a sock jones, I guess I have a lace jones. I think I like knitting lace so much because it's not boring, it has "parts", like a sock.

love, reign o'er me...

2007-01-30T15:31:00.000-05:00

Warning: Non-crafting content.

On the dry and dusty road
The nights we spend apart alone
I need to get back home to cool cool rain
I can't sleep and I lay and I think
The night is hot and black as ink
Oh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain

Imagine my surprise the other day when on the radio, I heard one of my favorite songs performed by one of my favorite (mostly for nostalgic reasons) bands...except the song isn't an original by said band. In other, totally non-confusing terms, Pearl Jam has done a cover of the song, "Love Reign O'er Me," by The Who, one of the most kickass bands of all time.

And this song. What can I say? I love this song. I have no reasons why, it's just one of those things.

I'm sort of a purist, so I do think the original version is best, but PJ does an excellent job on this song. They should, they're know to be big Who fans.

You can listen to a clip of the song here.

the hat that found a home

2007-01-30T09:41:00.000-05:00

Holly from this group started a new group. She'd better not bail on our Tuesday night group in the L-I-V because she's fun! Everyone in the group is fun! If you are local, you should consider attending!

Anyhow, I finished my hat made from Noro Silk Garden. I tried it on, and Steve says, "You look like you smoke pot." I looked in the mirror. I hated to admit it, but he was right. So I took a picture of him:

It looks ridiculous on him, and plus, he says the colors "aren't guy colors." Ugh. So I gave it one more shot. It's funny how a hat that makes me look like a "pot smoker" looks totally normal on my mom:

She likes it, too! My dad was happy because he started telling me how Mom was outside shoveling snow "without a damn hat on her head," so I'm glad I'm saving her body heat when she's outside.

And, here is that lovely KnitPicks sock yarn I got last week...it's Dancing, and I believe this colorway is "Rumba" It's a very, very stretchy cotton. The color is sort of different than I imagined; I guess I would call it interesting...

And, your daily puppy picture...here she is after going apesh*t in the show! Can you see the crazed look in her eyes?

Questions, answers and general musings:

2007-01-25T10:36:00.000-05:00

- Zora is named after Zora Arkus-Duntov, the man who introduced the Corvette to popularity and designed it to be a sports car, rather than a "docile roadster" and generally credited with creating the whole brand identity. And I did not pick out her name even though I like it.

- "Purl & Hurl" is now under copyright. At least in my own mind. I will elaborate on my evil plan later. Now I'll just let your imagination run wild, because I'm so charitable.

- Another quick project I'm working on is a simple hat because I actually need a hat. I know, I need another project like I need a pair of red patent leather six inch platform shoes, but sometimes you just have to indulge. This hat is being made from Noro Silk Garden in colorway 244. It is lovely but I don't feel like taking a picture because someone in this office is in a bad mood and keeps giving me "I hate you" looks. Well, I hate to break it to this person, but they're gonna hate me even more when they see this hat! BURN!

- I apologize for my comparison of cats and Dick Cheney. I'm sorry, when I hear someone say the word diabolical, I just think of our vice president.

-Hi Holly...have fun in Canada and I hope your concussion heals, since it was mostly my fault and all.

- I was going to use the remaining space to bring you one of my regularly scheduled rants. This one was going to be in relation to a discussion at knitting group last night in relation to working and what a scam it is. I've however decided it might be to offensive, but if you want to read it, shoot me an email and I will send it to you.

project updates

2007-01-16T09:59:00.000-05:00

You can't really see the stitching on the UW thing, but it is pretty cool...it's quilted. It will be a gift for Mr. Steve and all of his friends who are also UW alums will be SO JEALOUS. Or not. WHATEVER.

Tonight I am helping Drama Teacher Amy, a.k.a. Boss' Wife Amy, a.k.a. Awesome Amy make some dresses for her upcoming play. Should be fun...woo woo!

Alright, gotta go run and see if Zora's frozen since there is no power at Steve's house! Too bad I can't bring her to work...hmmm. Maybe I can guilt the boss into letting me bring her here!

weekend projects

2007-01-16T09:51:00.000-05:00

On a whim, I picked up some of this while I was out one day during lunch (last week):

I'm not sure what I will do with a yard of University of Wisconsin fabric, but I know a few U-W alumni and Badger state residents who I'm sure might appreciate a small item.

And, here are some placemats I made at the request of my mom. They're reversible February/March placemats. They're a little too cute for me, but she will love them:

And, here is a small, secret project I am working on:

shout out

2007-01-11T09:37:00.000-05:00

My blood pressure is skyrocketing today. Ugh. I’m like a dumbass magnet. People…why are they always around me?

Anyhow, I just wanted to give a quick shout out to Joy and Sandy who are one of three people who read this mess and they also attend the South Eastern Michigan Knitting group every other Tuesday, which I have gone to twice and plan to continue my attendance. So hi guys! And hi to everyone else, to! You’re a fun group, and I have to hand it to Ms. Sandy for being patient with me on the whole spinning issue, the issue being that I’m a completely inept moron when using a drop spindle. I think I’m too hyper to spin...imagine that! :) And Joy, you have excellent taste in old cars/subversive cross stitch.

While I’m at it, hi Tammy! She’s reader #3.

Notes and news...

2007-01-08T08:39:00.000-05:00

- I picked up the Grandma Blanket this weekend and worked on it after having it sit, untouched, for about three months. My deadline for completion is her birthday in March. This is quite possibly one of the most boring projects ever.

- I worked on my quilt. I’ll take pictures and post some tomorrow.

- I began some ribbed socks for my Mom for her birthday. Again, pictures tomorrow.

- I ordered a pattern (Ardmayle Knot in Green) from Celtic Obsessions to make for Steve for his birthday. I think he needs something to hang on his wall that isn’t car-related (even though I’ve contributed to that as well…hey, it’s what he loves). Hopefully it will go okay, my most recent experience with cross stitch was this pattern which was fun to do and almost instant gratification!

On to the new...

2007-01-03T09:29:00.000-05:00

Now that the Flower Petal Scarf is done...

This is a scarf I'm making for my boss' wife, Drama Teacher Amy. D.T.A. requested a purple scarf because, “come on, I’m a drama teacher.” (Sorry about the crappy picture...I'm not frickin' Richard Avedon) The scarf is a pattern from Jan Eaton’s excellent book, 200 Ripple Stitches and is pattern #18/19 Springtime/Leafy Panels (the same pattern, just listed in the book with variation of yarn choice). The yarn I’m using is good old Cascade 220 “The Heathers” collection in color # 2421, a purple with flecks of royal blue.

As long as I’m plugging places and things, I bought the yarn at The Knitting Den in South Lyon, a sweet shop I visited for the first time right before Christmas. I highly recommend a visit to this store, located in an old house and absolutely PACKED with yarn of all varieties and supplies…their needles/notion room (yes, almost a full room full) is impressive by itself.

Now I just have to make a pair of socks for my mom…

FO: Flower Petal Scarf

2007-01-02T08:43:00.000-05:00

First of all, Zora wishes you all a belated Merry Christmas:

Secondly, here is the Flower Petal Scarf…in all of its finished glory:

I had a lovely, domestic break. I got a new sewing machine for Christmas, so I decided to work on the long-abandoned quilting project I started six months ago:

I even got into the kitchen and made some lovely focaccia bread (The Moosewood Cookbook recipe...it's the best) and some extremely healthy Winter Vegetable Stew from the good old Betty Crocker Cookbook:

Too bad I'm not independently wealthy, otherwise I'd just stay home and do stuff I want to do all day. But, alas, I have to work. Look for some Christmas pictures tomorrow, complete with a knitted Christmas stocking for my favorite canine!

merry christmas to me!

2006-12-21T15:24:00.000-05:00

I received this lovely Christmas package from Steve's mom and dad yesterday. The package consists of two four ounce skeins of fingering weight handspun alpaca yarn. It's from here. The yarn is really lovely.

Now what should I make?

updates

2006-12-13T10:16:00.000-05:00

Picture explanations, clockwise from top left:

- The flower petal scarf, as of this morning. I did make some progress on this horribly slow project last night with the lovely ladies from Southeast Michigan Knitters. I cannot wait to finish this thing.
- The “green,etc.” Kool-Aid yarn, derived from a skein of Patons Merino, lots of water, and three packages each of Ice Blue Raspberry Lemonade, Lemon-Lime and Grape Kool-Aid.
- The ball of red-orange yarn, derived from Lion Wool and a secret alchemical mixture of orange, cherry and lemonade Kool-Ad. I call it “Leo.”
- A knitted swatch of Leo.
- A crocheted portion of Leo. Funny how they turn out so differently depending on the technique.

In the wool...

2006-12-12T08:30:00.000-05:00

It has been awhile, but I've been busy. Yeah, I know. A poor excuse.

Anyhow, I am on the last page of the flower petal scarf pattern. I promised myself that I would not start any more projects until this one was finished. So, to break the monotony of the flower petal scarf, I tried something new last night…I dyed some yarn with Kool-Aid.

How much freakin’ fun was that!!! And so simple, too. Highly recommended to purge any desires for a new project when you’re on the brink of breaking a “no new projects” vow. Not like anyone does that, right?

Basically, there are two ways to set the Kool Aid dye in the yarn- stovetop or microwave. I, of course, chose the microwave because I can just hear the fire trucks now if I had actually chose to operate a stove. Anywho…

Here’s what I did…

-Kool-aid dyeing only works with natural fibers, like 100% wool like I used. So, I bought some Patons Classic Merino and Lion Wool to experiment with. I'm going to get some Knit Picks dye your own in a fingering weight so I can make some socks.

- First, I tried the easiest method, which I read about on KnitPicks.com. I wound the yarn into a shorter hank and a long hank (for the other method):

-I lightly washed each hank and then soaked them for about twenty minutes each:

- I mixed my solutions in jars and squirt bottles. Jar 1 contained two parts (packet) cherry and half part orange. Jar 2 contained two parts lemonade and half part orange. Jar 3 contained two orange. This experiment used the Lion Wool. The squirt bottles each contained 3 packs of Ice Berry Blue Lemonade (or something like that), Lemon-Lime and Grape.

-For the jars, I divided the yarn into three (somewhat) equal parts and placed each section into one of the colors:

-Then I microwaved the jars for two minutes then let them rest for two minutes. I repeated this process about eight million times until the water was milky-looking. Then I rinsed the yarn in water the same temperature as the yarn and hung it up to dry. Note: Don't run the water directly on the yarn...have it run on the walls of the sink and just flood the yarn. Squeeze the wool out until the water runs clear and voila! You have bright yarn:

-For the other "hand painted" yarn, I first tied off the yarn into sections, almost like a tye-dye project. It made a lovely wool necklace:

-I took my nifty squirt bottles with the green, purple and blue Kool Aid and squirted each section. I pressed down on each section to make sure the dye went through and went through a lot of paper towel. Sorry for the lack of pictures. I got too excited.

-I (very carefully) lifted the hank and put it into the Pyrex dish:

-I covered the Pyrex dish with microwaveable plastic wrap and poked some holes in it. This time, the microwaving only took about six minutes to make the water cloudy clear, and I repeated the rinsing process as above. I got this:

Who knows what will become of this fragrant, neon yarn. Probably mittens. I think it might be cool felted. I will have some pics of a knitted/crocheted swatch when both hanks are done drying.

I am off to a meeting of the Southeastern Michigan Knitters tonight…Sandy invited me, so maybe she will have some suggestions of what to do with the fruity yarn. And maybe I will actually come closer to finishing the FPS...

Flower Petal Scarf, post 3

2006-11-14T12:14:00.000-05:00

I learned to SPIN this past weekend. I forgot to bring my little ball o'yarn but I will take a picture of it. It's sort of difficult, but I think I'd get the hang of it if I were hooked. Which I'm not, as of yet...Knittin' & spinnin' lady Sandy hosted a mini-kint party, and let me tell you, her house is a knitter/crocheter/spinner's dream house. She's got her ball winder in the living room. PERMANENTLY...how awesome is that?

As for spinning, I think it was neat to try but I'm not sure if I'm that into it. I guess I'd rather just buy handspun yarn, ha!

And, the progress of the Flower Petal Scarf:

I did not work on it this week at all...I was far too busy, but I am hoping to have it done before I leave for the beautiful countryside of Wisconsin next week...I think I can pull that off! I really love this yarn.

Flower Petal, uh, Scarf, post 2

2006-11-08T10:01:00.000-05:00

Swatch pre-blocking: 8" at the wide point (length) 3.75" (height)
Swatch after blocking: 9" length, 4" height.

I turned the "progress above into a swatch to make sure that the Shadow would knit into something scarf sized, rather than handkerchief sized. I did a mini-blocking experiment and I think it will be okay...

This pattern is really fun to knit. I might even make a shawl out of it...either with the elann.com Peruvian Alpaca or some Cascade 220 I've got in the stash.

And, a side note: I'm not a very religious person, but thank you Jesus for allowing the election to be over. Actually, I think Jesus would be pretty upset if he had to watch all of these candidates bash one another on t.v....that ain't no brotherly love and I'm guessing they ain't gonna greet one another with a holy kiss. Ah, the complexity of human nature...

Flower Petal Shawl, post 1

2006-11-07T08:49:00.000-05:00

Flower Petal Shawl from elann.com

I started the above shawl last night. I must say that this pattern is very easy to follow and I am so far pleased with the results:

It should be noted that I am NOT knitting the pattern with worsted weight yarn and US 9 needles, but rather I am using this fingering weight yarn I originally purchased to make my now failed attempt at the Shetland Triangle from WRAPStyle. I am hoping by using Shadow and US 6 needles that I will get more of a scarf. So far, it's a little small, but it will get bigger with blocking.

Oh, and by the way, I like this pattern so much that I am planning on knitting it with the suggested elann.com yarn.

Goodbye, fair Shetland...

2006-11-06T09:36:00.000-05:00

Alas, the Shetland Triangle and I are not meant to be. At least not at this point in my knitting life. I do have to say that trying to knit this pattern was the most frustrating experience of my life, not because of the pattern though...OBVIOUSLY!

I received the second half of my KnitPicks order, which contained the Shadow yarn meant to turn into my Shetland Triangle. I wound one of the hanks BY HAND (which took forever). I started and re-started the pattern about seven times, and finally, I was on a roll.

Unfortunately, there were stitches coming out of nowhere. I ripped and restarted this shawl until I had had ENOUGH. I have the neck done, and I hate the way it looks. This isn't due to the pattern, it's due to my beginner lace knitting skills.

I have just come to the conclusion that lace is complicated and I need to start with an easier pattern. I think I got too brave after this first pair of socks (I started my second pair this weekend).

ANYHOW, if Tammy, kay or any other needle-wielders are reading this, give me your opinion: Could I knit this shawl with smaller needles and my Shadow yarn, knowing that it will turn out smaller and more scarf-like? I think I could handle this one...

Hope this doesn't offend anyone...

2006-11-03T10:48:00.000-05:00

...but I am sort of tired of CrochetMe.com.

I used to enjoy CrochetMe. The patterns weren't anything groundbreaking, but they weren't hokey or crochety (no pun intended) :).

Now the patterns are still okay, but a majority of them are from the SAME PEOPLE (one person in particular who has been featured numerous times whoe designs are just, well, sort of dumb). And I'm sorry, but why would the editor of the site review her own book? And feature some new people do it doesn't look like the magazine is some kind of private club.

I just had to get that off my chest.

"he said, 'you're next.'"

2006-11-02T09:04:00.000-05:00

My reflections on last night's episode of LOST:

- What the hell?!?!? Eko’s DEAD. Whatever. He’ll be back as an apparition, I’m sure of it.
- I don’t trust Juliet. I think she’s going along with Ben’s plan to test Jack. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she resembles Sarah, Jack’s ex-wife. Whatever, I hope they off Ben Henry Gale. He drives me nuts.
- Looks like we’re going to be subject to more of Locke’s mysticism with Eko gone.
- That guy, Danny, is totally going to kill or seriously injure Sawyer.
- What’s with the eye patch guy?
- Last night’s episode was the best LOST episode of the season thus far, with the exception of Eko taking the dirt nap.

Waaaaaaaaaaaalt!

2006-11-01T13:06:00.000-05:00

I wonder who's gonna die tonight on LOST?

I know that this probably won't happen, but I hope it's Michael...

He's such a turd. What a backstabber. Nothing against the real Michael, Harold Perrinault (Perrineau? whatever) who I'm sure is a swell guy. But it probably won't happen because he hasn't been on the show. And because they never kill the turd characters. Never say never with LOST, though, right? (As an aside, to the writers of LOST: If in fact Michael does come back on the show, could you give him some more lines? It's pretty rough to hear him scream "Waaaaaaaalt!" eight hundred times a show...thanks!)

My second guesses, I suppose, would be Mr. Eko (which would suck, because he's awesome) and Sawyer (which would suck, because he's HOT...and a badass). If Sayid dies, who is my favorite LOST character EVER, I will stop watching the show. Period.

I guess it will piss me off no matter who dies, unless it's...

-Michael (because he's a turd)

-Kate (because she's dumb and annoying and, oh, woe is her, she has daddy issues and can't choose between two hot guys that are both after her...get over it, sister!)

-Henry Gale, AKA Ben (whose face I can't stand to look at),

-The guy whose wife (Colleen) died and has it out for Sawyer because he is NOT a major character and then this rant would be for NOTHING

- and (I know this will be unpopular) Locke. I am tiring a little of Locke's mysticism and his "oh, look at me, I can build anything and I worked at a pot farm and I'm so smug and AWESOME"

Basically, I think anyone could die. I could go on all day about who would be okay to bite it and who wouldn't. Speaking of, I hope Charlie doesn't die, but Clare's a little bit of a wet blanket at times, so I guess I wouldn't be that upset...

happy halloween!

2006-10-31T09:59:00.000-05:00

Everyone's a psychic...

2006-10-30T11:55:00.000-05:00

To get myself into the spirit for Halloween, I decided to watch a bunch of scary television shows yesterday.

I really don't believe that some people have psychic powers, and I don't believe in ghosts or hauntings. I do, however, believe, that the human mind is a very, very powerful thing and that the power of human imagination is severely underestimated. I think that people who see ghosts are in fact having hallucinations, and I think psychics do nothing more than turn a profit from being really, really good at being really, really general.

Anyhow, I was watching something about this haunted house that was owned by Sarah Winchester, a woman who was the heir of the Winchester (firearms...thanks kay!) fortune, way back in the day (late 19th/early 20th century). This Sarah Winchester was a little nuts. She kept on adding on to her very elaborate house (located in California) to confuse evil spirits and she slept in a different room every night.

Anyhow, this psychic came into the house to "do a reading," which, is transcribed as follows:

VO guy: Westinghouse would only have the very best for her house and spent her money on embossed French wallpaper and parquet wood floors. She had her beloved organ, in her bedroom."Psychic: "I can feel her presence in the room. She really like beautiful things. She also loved to play the organ."

Okay, well DUH. Anyone, whether or not they have psychic "powers" can make the generalization that the person who once occupied the house likes beautiful things if the house is, well, BEAUTIFUL and they must have loved to play the organ if they kept the instrument in their frickin' bedroom. I guess I'm psychic if I walk into my parents house and say, "wow, I can tell you really prefer carpet over wood floors." Would my psychic abilities blow them away? It's like going into someone's kitchen and saying, "I can tell you spend a lot of time in here." DUMB.

It's the same thing with horoscopes, too. The idea that you can be generalized by your time of birth into the qualities of one astrological sign is absurd. Does that mean that every one of the millions and millions of people born from late July to the end of August all follow the traits of an outgoing Leo and learn towards warm colors? I don't think so. "Something good will happen in the middle of the week..." Yeah? What is it? Is is a big good or a little good? How do you define a good thing? Is it something small like a compliment from a respected friend or is it a job offer?

I just hate the whole "I'm psychic" thing. No, you're not. So many psychics have been exposed as frauds and psychics take advantage of gullible humans by being GENERALISTS.

Okay, I'm finished. Sorry. I just don't believe all of this crap and am a total skeptic about most so-called "paranormal" activities. This stuff is aired a lot around this time of year and while it's fun to watch, it gets me worked up because this stuff is taken seriously by so many people.

Ugh.

DONE done DONE done...

2006-10-26T09:00:00.000-04:00

woo hoo! I am no longer a sock virgin! I will never use self-striping yarn again, as the stripes did not line up, but WHO CARES? I made socks!

Up next: Shetland Triangle. Stay tuned.

almost there...

2006-10-25T09:01:00.000-04:00

there i go...

2006-10-24T16:26:00.000-04:00

Okay, I changed my mind. I am going to use the KnitPicks to knit the Shetland Triangle instead of Ene's Scarf, which I've heard is sort of a nightmare. Plus, I can get the pattern at the library instead of buying the book.

Some updates...

2006-10-24T15:47:00.000-04:00

- Second virgin sock...almost done. I'm on the foot.

- Grandma's back in the hospital, the afghan got about four rows added this weekend. It's taking forever.

- Crazy family stuff abounds. I can't even explain it because I'm still in shock. Crazy, crazy CRAZY!

- I have been looking for the perfect scarf pattern. I wanted a big scarf that was really more like a shawl, and I decided on Ene's Scarf from Scarf Style. I ordered some KnitPicks Shadow (in the Oregon Coast colorway) today for the scarf. I love the color; it will go with black or brown, which is what I wear almost every day to the office. I hope I do okay and don't screw this one up, because I WANT THIS SCARF.

- Mom wants a pair of socks now instead of mittens. Gray socks. So, I threw in a skein of Essential from KnitPicks. I think I want to try a fancier pattern for these socks...if anyone has any suggestions, drop a line, mmmmkay?

A segueway in my WIPs

2006-10-19T08:42:00.000-04:00

I promised Debbie months ago I would make her a Fat Bottom Bag. She saw mine and she immediately told me she wanted a black one with tortoiseshell handles.

So, this past weekend I made her one. I sewed in the lining and made the handle flaps last night during LOST (what a good friend I AM) and voila...Debbie's Fat Bottom...

I tried to take a picture of the lining but Deb filled the purse as soon as I gave it to her...I guess that's a compliment:

And here she is...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEBBIE! (sorry about the picture, my program is acting funny, I might fix it later)...

it's in the bag, baby...

2006-10-16T12:30:00.000-04:00

I love this bag.

I have been looking for a new bag, preferably red, and where do I find it? On a brand-spankin' new pattern book THAT I CAN'T FIND ANYWHERE.

Actually, I can find it online. The problem with ordering the book on the internet has a bit to do with the fact that shipping the book COSTS MORE THAN THE BOOK ITSELF.

So, if any of you fine fibery friends happen to see one of these lovelies while you're out, drop me a line, okay? I'd greatly appreciate it, and then I can stop ending ALL OF MY SENTENCES IN CAPITAL LETTERS.

Thanks,

Colleen

fingerless gloves

2006-10-16T08:40:00.000-04:00

What is the deal with fingerless gloves?

In every knitting/crocheting book/blog/webzine etc., I see patterns for fingerless gloves. I hate these things. I think they're dumb and I'd never make them because I don't like to make things I'd look like an idiot wearing. So all of you pattern book editors, webziners and bloggers, stop making these things. They're dumb. And while we're at it, stop with the legwarmers, too! There's a time for dressing like an extra in Fame, and that time was 1983!!! Don't even get me started on the recent trend toward leggings, also.

Anyhow, I got that off my chest.

This weekend, I continued work on my second sock and the afghan for my Grandma, who is now home (woo hoo) from the home. I also started another Fat Bottom Bag for Deb for her birthday.

I love the Fat Bottom Bag. This pattern is so quick and easy. All I need to do on Debbie's is add the flaps, because I'm sewing in the lining tonight. Yay for quick projects!

And, just for posterity, even though I'm not a big baseball fan, GO GET 'EM TIGERS!

Proof.

2006-10-12T10:41:00.000-04:00

See see see! I did start the other sock.

Anyhow, I just wanted that to be known to the three people who actually read this blog. :)

So I burned the heck out of my right hand, also my crocheting/knitting/sewing/itching/writing etc. hand. I spilled coffee all over it this morning at the coffee place and it hurt so bad it brought tears to my eyes. I've been running water on it all morning but I soon got sick of getting up every five minutes, so I waited until everyone else left and I filled up a pitcher and am just sticking my hand in that. Oooooh, it feels nice, even if I look like a complete ass :) My hand is swollen and stiff, but it has stopped burning for a few minutes. I'm sure that will change in about, say, two minutes.

Okay, and, uh, why was it snowing today? It's OCTOBER 12. Ugh.

I'm a whiner...

2006-10-11T11:57:00.000-04:00

Let me tell you, and this is going to be an unpopular statement among some, but I hate Homespun yarn.

I should clarify. I hate crocheting with Homespun yarn. It's because...It's...ugh, I just hate it.

I've never knit with the stuff, and I've got a load of it in my stash from a long time ago BEFORE I KNEW, and I want to get rid of it. BUT, I'm going to give it one last chance. I am going to add this bag to my list of projects (which is long, but this is quick so I might just start it and hide it, ha!). The pattern suggests a higher-end boucle, but I just want to get rid of some yarn, so Homespun it will be. Have at your jabs, yarn snobs! :)

For posterity, here is my list of WIPs/WIMs:

Afghan for M.E. - In progress. I am trying to do two rows a night.

Virgin Socks - One down, one to go. I bring this project with me wherever I go.

Big Sack Sweater from SnB - not started, no yarn. To be quite frank, I'm not sure if I want to make it now. Maybe in February.

Shrug a Licious - not started, no yarn. I want to make this with Andean Treasure, and my cart is full at KnitPicks, I just have to stop being so cheap and hit that order button. I should also mention the aforementioned KnitPicks cart also contains yarn for the Big Sack Sweater I'm contemplating.

Half Moon Shawl - ditto. No yarn yet. I can't find a substitute for Romance, which I'm not sure I want to use.

Doggie Mat - maybe tonight if I want to get reminded that I'm not to start any more projects until the five I'm using scrap yarn from my stash so doggie can stay warm and I can wash the thing after she makes it all nasty.

Second Skullholder from SnB Happy Hooker - One down, one to go. My deadline is "by the time the kitchen is done."

Ms. Poppins Bag - See above.

S Hook Scarf - Teaching Deb how to potentially crochet with this pattern, using MicroSpun (which I also hate, but that is a different story) and the Hook that Ate New York, a.k.a. an S-35 mm hook.

Lace Scarf from Knitty (mentioned somewhere in this blog) - made a swatch in leftover merino wool, my LYS was too crowded last night so I didn't go in and get the Elsbeth Lavold Skily Wool from which the scarf will be knit.

Bathroom Shade - This wet blanket of a project is almost ready to go. There are just some schematics I'm trying to analyze.

Cable Ready bag - I bought this pattern with the idea in mind to practice my cables. I should be able to make it in February...of2009.

I'd better get to it! My a** is gonna be busy!

what i did on my weekend vacation...

2006-10-09T08:38:00.000-04:00

I have been busy!!! See...

Yes ma'am, I finished (finally) one of the socks, and I have already started the second one, so there...no one sock curse for me!

Steve has these awful grapevines that kill all of his trees. What do people do when grapevines threaten their foliage? Make wreaths, of course!

Steve's wreath (huge):

Steve's dad's wreath (also big):

Steve's mom's wreath (very decorative):

My puny wreath:

Zora tries her hand (er, paw) at making a wreath:

All of the wreaths set outside to dry out. The neighbors must have thought it was some weird shrine (mine is the tiny one laying flat at the top):

I also tried my hand at knitting some simple lace from this pattern...I'll let you know if I continue!

And these are my excuses for being a intermittent blogger...

And if you threw a party...

2006-09-26T15:15:00.000-04:00

This is totally random, but the other day I was thinking about college and how I used to watch reruns of The Golden Girls. Yeah, I was pretty wild in college.

Anyhow, I remember my roommate Kate telling me that if I were one of the Girls, I would be Rose..."You know," she said. "The sort of dumb one."

"Thanks a lot, Kate." I said.

"Well, at least you're not the slutty one."

Oh, what wild times. It got me thinking though, of comparing people I know to characters on television shows. So I will start off with me, the person I know best.

Happy Days - Potzie. I'm not as squeaky clean as Richie or Joanie, but not as bad ass as Fonzie, so I guess that would make me Potzie, who is just slightly irritating and sort of naieve, like me! And I am definitely nowhere near being as annoying as Ralph Malph, so don't even think about suggesting him.

Seinfeld - Elaine. I would definitely be Elaine because I am always the only chick around a bunch of dudes. Plus, I'm as Kramer would say, "A man's woman."

Lost - Kate is too athletic. Claire got knocked up. Libby is too much of a hippie and Ana Lucia is a BAMF. But, I hear that there will be a new character in the fall whose name is Colleen so I will have to get back to you on this one...

That 70's Show - Although I am nowhere near as good looking as Donna, I would be Donna 'cause she's a rocker and so am I. :)

Leave it to Beaver - I would be Beaver for the same reason I would be Potzie.

Okay, this has to stop. I have reached high levels of geekiness.

Mom and I are taking some knitting and crocheting classes and the first one is tonight. I will give a full report tomorrow.

socked, part 2

2006-09-25T10:59:00.000-04:00

Ok. I didn't finish a sock this weekend. But I'm on the foot now and I think it's going to be easier from this point on...I think the tricky stuff is over with. Here's my progress:

Nooooooooootttttttt too shabby for a total beginner. I will definitely post a picture when one is done...and for SURE when I have a complete set!

Zora got a new bed this weekend...spoiled baby dog. We got it on one of our many shopping excursions this weekend, which included trips to Target, Kohl's, Home Goods, T.J. Maxx, Sam's Club, and, of all places, IKEA.

Here's my beef with IKEA- I hate the fact that you can't just run in and grab something. It's a high maintenance trip to IKEA each and every time. You have to go through their goofy store maze and they trap you in a sea of bad Swedish design. The only reason we went was to get pulls and handles for Steve's new kitchen cabinets. That guy can talk me into anything.

Anyhow, when we were at T.J. Maxx yesterday they had this crazy purse that was a bunch of crocheted ruffles. I might go back and buy one. Maybe I'll keep it, or myabe I'll make a copy and return it. Who knows. I took a picture with my camera phone but it's crappy so I will also follow up on that.

No word on the new job yet, hopefully it works out!

socked

2006-09-22T11:01:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, I have been knitting (and un-knitting) a lot lately. I've figured out that I'm a better knitter than crocheter, even though I like both techniques and crochet has been in my life much longer than knitting. Anyhow...

Exhibit A:

Actually, there was a perfectly turned (for a beginner) heel and the beginning of a gusset on this sock, but I got too heated and ripped out the mistakes before I thought to take a picture. By the way, I'm using LB Magic Stripes and the pattern from the label. I wanted to start off with something unexpensive. I'm using size 1 DPNs.

Exhibit B:

The sock from Exhibit A. I just decided to start it all over again.

Exhibit C:

My do-over. I added ribbing this time, too. Maybe I will actually finish a sock this weekend, at which point you can be certain I will post a picture first thing Monday morning.

l-a-m-e spells colleen

2006-09-19T09:15:00.000-04:00

"Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels
I look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through
Looking into their eyes I see them running too."
-Running on Empty, Jackson Browne

Whew. I have been really busy.

Job interviews, traveling, puppy-rearing, a wedding...I have been taking off like a cheap prom dress.

1) I had an interview last Thursday for this new job that actually looks quite promising...I'm pretty excited. It would be a really great opportunity and I think I'm ready to move on. The extra money would be nice, too and it would be really nice to see this (somewhat useless) masters degree of mine finally pay off!

2) Steve and I got back from Wisconsin last week. We traveled there for his sister Lori's wedding. It was nice, and the place they had it was this awesome resort called Pine Ridge Farms in Wautoma, WI. Wisconsin is a beautiful place, I highly recommend it. I also saw (one of) Brett Favre's houses...by accident. I had to take a picture for Kelly who loves Brett Favre, even though I think she would choose husband Mark over Brett if she had the chance. After all, I doubt Brett Favre has Mark's keen and daring fashion sense (the man has more clothes than Kelly and I combined, but hey, he looks good...).

3) Cute puppy story: Zora, our 11 month old Lab Retriever is a country dog. She came from the country and she lives in the semi-country now. On our way to Wisconsin (we had left at 1:00 a.m. in the morning) we always have to drive through Chicago. Anyhow, since we got to Chicago at around 4:30 a.m., we went through downtown and all of the lights were still on...a rare non-trafficky view of the magnificent Chicago skyline. Zora stared out the window of the truck and her eyes were the widest I've ever seen them...she had this expression on her face like, "What is this? I've never seen anything like this before in my short existence!" I guess you had to be there, but it was pretty frickin' cute.

4) I have been sock knitting. It was going well until I screwed up the gusset and now I want to rip out the whole thing and start over. Maybe I need to learn how to do socks on two circular needles?

I got the cuff done, no problem. Heel flap...no problem. I even turned the heel correctly the first time! The problem I had was the gusset. It took me about an hour to figure out what I was doing, and then when I found out what I was doing was correct, I found out I was forgetting to knit a round in between the decrease rounds. I was so pissed off! Steve took a picture of me knitting the sock which is quite hilarious which I might post if you really want to see moi in that state...

5) I have three pregnant friends now. Three. Wow...we really are getting older. (See above quote :))

Anyhow, there are some other things going on here too, which should calm down in a week or two, at which point I will divulge some more...duh duh duhhhhhhhh!

more later, promise

2006-09-12T14:56:00.000-04:00

I've been on the road, so I will be around sometime tomorrow to fill you all in.

-colleen

more stuff...

2006-08-28T08:17:00.000-04:00

So I got out a bunch of unfinished projects this weekend...you know, the bag waiting for handles to be attached, a lining sewn in, something "on the needles" or to be felted...you get my drift, I'm sure. Anyhow, here are the projects.

1. Felted Fibonacci Bag - an ORIGINAL pattern :). I made and felted this bag way back in March, but it has been sitting without handles or a lining. So this weekend I sewed in the lining and made some handles out of an old belt of Steve's...I think it turned out fabulous! I love it! It's made out of Patons Merino.

2. The Re-felt project - I made this brown bag an even longer time ago, and I never felted it. So yesterday it got felted again, and I have to say that Knit Picks' Wool of the Andes is an excellent, excellent yarn for felting. The green is the KnitPicks, and the brown is Patons Merino, and you can really tell a difference.

3. The first knitted DPN project, a mitten - A mitten that is too small for adult hands. Unless you're a carnie maybe.

4. Skullholder from Happy Hooker - Again, I made this way back in March for Steve. He wanted some badass potholders for the new kitchen, so here it is. It's a little goofy, but he likes it, so whatever...

Enjoy!

crazy stitchin' fool...

2006-08-23T08:29:00.000-04:00

Okay, let me describe the pictures above...

1) The One Skein Scarf from Happy Hooker. Made of Patons Classic Merino in "That's Pink." I made this a couple of weekends ago and finally remembered to take a picture of it. Granted, the picture was taken in the people wagon on the way to work this morning, but that will just have to do. And yes, that's me. At way too early in the morning.

2) WIP Blanket for Grandma - Grandma is still in the rehab facility after the debacle last spring...not going to get into that, but this is a picture of the blanket I'm making her for her room at the facility. I made it nice and bright because hospital blankets are just ugly and I know Grandma likes bright colors. It's made from regular old Red Heart because I wanted her to be able to wash it in case she spills anything.

3) Sweet Pea Shawl (not pictured) - I began the Sweet Pea Shawl from Happy Hooker last weekend. I'm fond of the finished product, but I am not so fond of making it...this pattern is no fun to me, so we'll see if I actually finish it or just frog it. I purposely made it out of Simply Soft, thinking that if I really liked it, I would buy the suggested Classic Elite Flash.

4) Roman Shade (not pictured, the camera battery was about to die) - almost done, just needs a hem. I made this shade for Steve's bathroom, which was previously devoid of window coverings.

5) My first attempt at knitting with DPNs - what a mess! Actually, it doesn't look too bad in person. The finished product will be some mittens made out of Wool Ease Chunky. The pattern is weird because it requires the use of five needles. I have enough trouble with two, so this will be interesting...stay tuned.

And, I have a yarn shopping list...if anyone wants to do the shopping for me, I would greatly appreciate it...here's my list:

-3 skeins of Brown Sheep Cotton Fleece (any color) for Little Black Top from the first Stitch N' Bitch book
-6 skeins of TLC Cotton Plus in the tangerine-y color for (my third attempt of) Cupcake from Happy Hooker
- Some Shine Sport, Shine Worsted, Andean Treasure (for Shrug-a-Licious), MainLine and some sock yarn from KnitPicks.com
-I also want the Clover needle felting kit too.

Other than that, this past weekend Zora rolled around in a pile of deer poop. I just about had her in the car to take her back to the breeder, but Steve caught me. Darn! Of course I am joking, I still love the puppy even if she's a total turd sometimes and I would never give her away...I put a new picture of her up, too (a "snout shot" as Steve calls it)!

seija hat

2006-08-17T08:24:00.000-04:00

This is the Seija Hat of the Seija Set in Happy Hooker. It took me less than two hours to make, which is good because all of my friends are pregnant so I will have to start knocking out these puppies! I'm not planning on making the matching blanket, just the hats.

I made it with Wool Ease, because I thought that might be a little nicer than an all acrylic yarn, but you can still throw it in the washing machine because hey, it's for a kid and kids are gross and get everything dirty. Plus, Wool Ease is pretty soft for wool blend yarn, and is suitable for a baby in my opinion.

The colors I used are Oxford Grey, Blush Heather (light pink) and Rose Heather (dark pink). The only thing I'm concerned about are the lovely little gaps left by the "ch 3" at the beginning of each round...so I started to use "sc 1, ch 2" to make the gap a little smaller.

And I swear to you, I did make the One Skein Scarf, I just continue to forget to grab it when I'm running out the door...tomorrow, I promise!

vrooooom...

2006-08-16T08:50:00.000-04:00

There is an event in southeastern Michigan that is both loved and hated. Yes folks, I am speaking of the Woodward Dream Cruise.

I have to say that I tend to be more on the dislike side. I'm glad I don't live in one of the eight communities that the Dream Cruise hits, because then I would hate it even more.

This event is not fun. And I like cars. I go to car shows regularly. I watch car TV shows. I know a little bit about cars. So why would I hate this event?

One, there are too many people.
Two, people drive their minivans and '98 Camaros down Woodward.
Three, there are too many people.
Four, people are dumb when they're in a large group.
Five, you can't even look at the cars.

There are too many drunk jackasses at this event and I have to say, I thought the touch of having off-duty strippers from the Flight Club handing out lapdance coupons was really nice.

Anyhow, I was told last year that we would not be returning to the event. Naturally, I was happy, only to be told that we are going this Thursday to the WDC, before it starts.

I'll complain about it later, I'm sure.

gettin' my knit on...

2006-08-14T10:41:00.000-04:00

I kicked knitting's ass this weekend.

Many of my friends and colleagues know that knitting and I have had a rocky relationship. But, being a glutton for punsihment and believing all of those cathartic, "one day knitting just clicked" success stories, I just had to try and succeed at it. Yeah, I know the basic knit and purl and could make something that resembled a scarf, but my ribbing was horrendous and don't even think about asking me to make a cable.

Well, Steve and I made a trip to Menard's this weekend and I bought the first Stitch n' Bitch knitting book. I gotta say, reading this book just makes you want to knit. Debbie Stoller's writing is very revealing of the fact that she has a longstanding passion for knitting...and it is a great book to learn by- I cabled on my first try!!! The crochet Stitch n' Bitch (The Happy Hooker) book doesn't exude as much passion, but I digress- I ribbed and cabled this weekend...and it actually looks like ribbing and cabling.

I am most proud of this cabled swatch. It's a mere 3.5" square, but I cannot stop looking at it and admiring it. I even brought it to work with me today and it is to the left of me. I pick it up every once in a while and just look at it with a smile on my face. I brought the ribbing swatch with me too, and while I am happy about this little piece, nothing can compare to this cable.

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

In other fiber news, I started and almost finished the One Skein Scarf from Happy Hooker. I will post pics tomorrow when it was done. I made it with the recommended yarn, Patons Classic Wool Merino, in That's Pink. I think I might feel like a rock star wearing it, because it's so long and skinny!

Steve and I also traveled to the Brighton Art Fair this weekend and this fiber guild had a booth! There was a lady spinning alpaca, a woman crocheting, another knitting and one woman needle felting! I felt an immediate bond with these ladies and immediately spent about fifteen minutes walking through their booth and stealing, er, borrowing some of their ideas and filing them in my brain. There was also a woman selling felted bags, which were priced anywhere from $80-$115 a pop...yikes! Maybe I should think about this some more... :)

Tonight I am finishing the aforementioned scarf and cutting fabric for a window panel for Steve's bathroom. I think it is high time the neighbors stop getting a load of the goods!

i'm not a wino, i'm a why yes!

2006-08-11T10:31:00.000-04:00

I was so set on starting some new projects last night, but I drank a bottle of wine instead. A whole bottle. By myself.

Yes, I am a dumbass.

I was just sitting in the garage with Zora, flipping through a book and I decided I'd like to sip on a glass of wine. Well two hours and one bottle later, I was in bed asleep.

I don't really drink that much, I'l have 2-3 beers a week, usually...and that's being generous. Drinking is so stupid, especially for someone like me with no tolerance. I always feel dumb after I drink. It's really not enjoyable, it makes you fat and kills all productivity.

Anyhow, enough beating myself up over this- my favorite co-worker Dan is puzzled as to why I feel so bad, but we're talking about a guy who could have been an extra in Old School :)

I love my bike

2006-08-09T11:49:00.000-04:00

One thing I like to do besides crocheting, knitting, sewing, etc. is to go biking. I don't do it nearly as much as I should though, even though I got a new bike back in April/May.

My new bike is a 2005 Novara Forza flatbar road bike with Shimano Sora componentry and fancy Shimano wheels that I think Steve wants even though his road bike is way, way fancier than mine. It's got a carbon fiber front fork, aluminum frame, a seat of which my arse is way to big for and the best set of index shifters, which in my opinion, are the best things to ever happen to bicycles. It's also got blessedly flat handles and wider-than-normal tires...no racing handles or spaghetti thin tires for me...I'm too shaky! I love this bike. For you yarn addicts out there, I love this bike like I love visiting yarn stores and just touching stuff. Don't deny yourself...you know you do it too!

Sadly, I think I have only put just over 100 miles on this bike, and I think 99 of said miles were cruised in Wisconsin. I like biking so much better when I visit Wisconsin- it's such a bike-friendly state. The roads are safer and more people in general bike in the Badger state.

Today I am going to the local thrift stores during my lunch break. I've decided it's high time I tried to recycle some sweaters into yarn. I've been wanting to do this for ages. I'm mainly going to look for wool, silk and cashmere.

Projects I'm working on:
Adding my recycled belt handles to the felted Fibonacci bag I made in March...still figuring out how I want to do this.
Starting a Fat Bottom Bag for Debbie for her birthday
A sweater destroying mission
Curtain for Steve's bathroom window (which I need to do this upcoming weekend)
Three knitted (maybe) baby blankets
Learn how to not make my knitted projects look like pieces of flaming turd.

Sorry about use of the word "turd." It's gross, I know. I say it about 384, 295 times a day. I guess it's better than saying shit though. Oops, I just said shit. I have to go put a quarter in my very full swear jar now.

my space

2006-08-07T15:43:00.000-04:00

MySpace.com makes me feel so good about myself. Really, it does. Mainly because I'm not on MySpace.

On the suggestion of my very hip co-worker, I went to MySpace.com and searched for people I went to high school with...man, there are a lot of people that I know, people I was friends with, that are on that friggin' site. They look like they're having lots of fun (?). Apparently one person I went to high school with is now an underwear model and by the looks of her site, is quite proud of it! Hell, if I had a body like hers, I would probably take some pictures in my Hanes. :)

Steven and Billy, who are from Wisconsin and Virginia, respectfully, found people they knew too, so I guess MySpace is good for things other than arranging dates with minors and posting naughty pictures of yourself.

I wish there was a way I could drop a line to some of the people I know on MySpace without actually joining...because there is no way I am doing that. I guess I just wouldn't want people to look up a Colleen MySpace page and think, "hey, no big surprise there...she turned out pretty normal!"

Besides, if by the small chance there is someone I went to high school with who thinks I became a covert operations spy, a famous designer, a member of the social elite or a hermit writer who lives in the remote hills of Dakota (North or South, but I'm not telling), I'm not going to take that vision away from them- I'm just not that mean!

happy birthday to me...

2006-08-07T13:50:00.000-04:00

My birthday was this Saturday (the 5th). It was a pretty good day, despite the fact that I am now closer to 30 every day...tick tock.

Anyhow, for my birthday, Steve and I are going to Las Vegas sometime before December. I'm excited! I know it will be fun...it specified on the trip itinerary (created by Steve himself) that the most important and obvious activity that would take place in Sin City is freak-watching. I told Steve that I will have to make sure I'm careful because I can be a little loud sometimes...he, of course didn't have to say anything but, "well, duh...yeah." I do love me some good freak watching, and there are only two places on Earth to do it- Vegas and Ypsilanti.

If anyone has any good suggestions on what to do in Vegas, let me know. Please leave out suggestions like, "Celine Dion," "get married" (ahemmm...Christine), and "Star Trek museum."

Anyhow, on to crochet. The past two weeks I was Steve-less and it was just me and Zora. Naturally, I did a lot of crocheting. I'm pleased to say that I made my first doily. However, can some of those thread purists out there can maybe tell me if a doily made from size 3 thread is really a doily? This "doily" is really supposed to be a coaster, but you have to start somewhere and I was getting a migraine working with bedspread cotton. As always, sorry for the crappy picture.

well, DUH!

2006-07-26T16:12:00.000-04:00

Lance Bass says he's gay

revenge of the nerds...

2006-07-26T08:36:00.000-04:00

God, I wish people like this would just GO AWAY. You've had your fifteen minutes, Ken Jennings! No one wants to hear your stupid, dorky jokes anymore!

Reading this article made me think about the whole Andy Warhol fifteen minutes of fame thing. Nowadays, thanks to crap television like American Idol, Survivor and the latest and perhaps most potent offender, The One: Making a Music Star, fifteen minutes is lasting a LONG DAMNED TIME. Ugh, if I have to see Clay Aiken one more time, I'll barf.

Not to pick on American Idol or anything. They must be doing something right because they've got Americans in a stronghold, but they're doing one big thing wrong- they are giving contestants on this show the false idea that they are actually serious musicians, when they really should be labeled "entertainers." A musician, at least in my opinion, is someone who creates and even redesigns to add something new and unique to music as a whole. A musician is not someone who parades around with a false sense on entitlement...those people are called "actors" and "politicians." And having Stevie Wonder, David Bowie and Brian May on the show does not help...cut it out! Leave reality shows to Phil Collins and Celine Dion!

Shout out to my hookers...

2006-07-25T13:06:00.000-04:00

How happy was I to find out people from Crochetville are reading this blog! Maybe that will inspire me to actually get with it and begin to post regularly. Go visit Tammy.

Anyhow, Cupcake. The only thing I am going to say about Cupcake is do NOT make it with Patons Grace like I did. It was a bad idea. I am currently deciding whether or not to use Brown Sheep Cotton Fleece, TLC Cotton Plus (which I cannot find anywhere around here) or something else....maybe Filatura Lanarota (if I'm feeling expensive)? We'll see how the second round of Cupcake goes.
Last night I finished the Fat Bottom Bag from Happy Hooker, pictured above. I used the suggested Lion Cotton in Seaspray and did not add a flower. The color is way off...probably because it is a covert picture taken in my office at work! The angle is sort of bad, too...my bottom is WAAAAAAAY bigger in person! :) (Yeah, my desk is messy, BACK OFF.)

I have to say I like Lion Cotton...it's probably one of their better yarns, but this is coming from someone who (and I know this is like fiber treason to some folks) hates Homespun. Lion Cotton has a good feel to it; I prefer it over Sugar n' Cream or Peaches.
In other non-crochet developments, Steve's kitchen has come a long way. Lots of tile, appliances, lights and trips to the holy trinity of man stores (Lowe's, Home Depot and Menard's) later, it is starting to look like a kitchen. He's happy, I'm happy and Zora seems happy (even though she usually is).
That's it for now. I'm just going to continue living the dream and try not to fall asleep at my overly exciting and scintillating job.

she's baaaaack...

2006-07-06T12:38:00.000-04:00

I am so naughty, I know.

I have been neglecting the four people that actually visit and digest this small offering of cyberspace. I have organized my excuses for the absence in list format so they are easier to digest.

1) Dog

Zora is so frickin' cute, but there are times when she can be a real a-hole...that's a Lab puppy for you, though. I've heard Labrador Retrievers don't fully mature mentally until they're two or three years old. So basically, in two years time, I will have a large dog that acts like a child. Awesome.

She's taken to swimming a lot, mostly in the neighbor's pool. It's amazing how quickly she took to the water...it's a known fact Labs love water, but I truly think that their penchant for all thing aquatic is genetically bred into their doggy DNA.

2) Kitchen

Steve's remodeling the kitchen and I helped!

Actually, we pulled up three layers of floor (from 1929) in the kitchen over the holiday weekend. I had the glorious task of pulling out staples. Actually, the monotony of pulling of the staples was somewhat relaxing...a mind vacation, if you will. But, after about the ninth row of tiles, my hand hurt really bad and I had a blister the size of Iowa. If I ever meet the !#$%^&* who installed that floor back in the day, this person and I will most certainly have words.

3) Cupcake

I was having a real crochet slump, so last weekend I pulled out a few of my crochet books to fuel some inspiration, and I decided to make the Cupcake sweater from Stitch N' Bitch: The Happy Hooker.

This thing has been sort of a bitch to make. I don't normally make clothes, but I was determined to do something different. I'm using Patons Grace because it was on clearance and I didn't want to spend a lot of cheddar, plus it was the right weight.

So I made the back using an "I" hook like the pattern suggested. Was I a model crocheter and did I check gauge beforehand??? Nooooo, of course not. I had to be all freestyle and stuff. When I finished the back, I determined it would be a great sweater for my cousin...my three year old cousin.

So basically, I relearned my lesson in gauge and am making the damned thing with an "L" (8mm) hook now. Of course, the only L hook I have is one of those frickin' plastic ones which I ended up throwing across the room before my hands got used to using it. I knocked a pop can down and Steve heard it from the other room. He has since told every single one of my family members he's come into contact with about the "princess hissyfit incident" or something like that.

Pictures of everything mentioned will follow...puppy, kitchen (maybe) and cupcake...

And the reason is you...

2006-04-25T07:53:00.000-04:00

Me, actually. The reason for being MIA is me. And the dog.

Yes, Steve got a dog back in March and I consider her mine, too since I watch her when he travels for work, which is like every week in the summer. I go check on her during lunch and have spent two weeks with her alone...I even bought her this chicken for Easter and when she plays with it, Steve refers to her as "choking her chicken." Huhuhuhuhuh, settle down, Beavis.

But anyway, the dog. Her name is Zora Frances, mostly called Zora or Fran/Frannie. She's about seven months old now and she is a black Labrador with a little tiny white spot on her chest and some white on the bottoms of her front paws. She's pretty laid back but she's getting increasingly more wild. She does this thing called "butt-tucking" (apparently this is a Lab thing, all of them do it) where she just gets this crazy look in her eyes and starts running around in circles at top speeds. Sometimes the butt-tucking episodes involved acrobatics too. Then, all of a sudden, she'll just lay down like someone took her batteries out.

She likes to ride in my car better than Steve's truck. I think because she can get in and out of my car pretty easily and doesn't have to be lifted into the vehicle. She likes to be independent and she feels that her status as an independent woman is being hindered by having to be lifted into the truck. She always jumps into my car even if I'm just getting something out of it...She'll just sit there and look at me like, "Come on, baby. Put on some Floyd, start this bitch up and let's GO!"

I've determined Pink Floyd is her favorite band. On one of our many car trips, she stayed up the whole time Dark Side of the Moon was on. She usually falls asleep. She doesn't really like the Beatles, which sort of bums me out, and she definitely does not like Phil Collins.

She also hates her crate, and as of now, she only sleeps in it at night. During the day she is in the sunroom, which is now her room.

Besides my canine offspring, work has kept me pretty busy and I am in the process of moving out of my ghetto, ghetto apartment to a new one outside of the "inner corridor" as my lovely non-native s.o. likes to call my current neighborhood of residence.

I'm also going to start posting my squares again. I've made about two more that I need to get up here, but since I never sit down, it's sort of hard to 1) make squares and 2) get on the computer and do non work-related stuff.

My grandma has been really sick in the hospital too, I don't want to get into it but it sucks and I hope she gets better because she rocks.

Anyhow, I'm back and promise I will post at least once a week. I know everyone out in blogland was waiting for my triumphant return with bated breath...my adoring public can rest easy now.

back to the blog...

2006-03-14T15:46:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have been ridiculously busy. Crazy busy. Insanely busy.

But enough with the excuses. Here's what I've been up to:
- Working. A lot.
- Providing suggestions and company for Steve as he embarks on his kitchen remodeling project. This involves a lot of fuel and store visits, but tends to be pretty fun.
- Trying to purchase a bike. Bike store visits usually accompany tile/cabinet shop visits. I never realized all the factors that go into a bike purchase.
- Looking for a new place to live, because my current complex is just so, well, we'll be nice and say it's just a really special place.

On top of that, I have been trying to fit in some crocheting and other crafty stuff. I bought the "Bite Me" kit from www.subversivecrossstitch.com and am eagerly waiting its arrival. I started a new project on Friday that may be something I might actually consider sending into a needlework mag or, hmm...maybe www.crochetme.com? I really like the way this thing is turning out. I'll give you a one-word clue: Fibonacci.

Another thing I've learned is that I hate crocheting baby blankets. I've tried to make one with two different yarns, trying umpteen different million patterns, but they have all proved useless. Maybe I will knit a blanket or make a baby quilt or something, like I have time for that shit. I'm such a quitter sometimes :)

Other things I'm working on include the Skullholders from my defective copy of Stitch 'n' Bitch Crochet: The Happy Hooker (apparently Michigan got hosed on decent copies, but hey, no BFD), wanting to learn how to quilt and trying to convince myself that I will be able to run a 10K by the end of the summer.

Steve and I went on the first bike ride of 2006 on Sunday. It was just a small one because it was windy (and I was winded). I also felt like throwing up my Qdoba lunch after riding up this big hill. "Big" being relative, of course, depending on who's using the term. The hill really isn't that big, I'm just getting used to being out of hibernation.

Another weird thing happened this weekend. After a full day of bike/kitchen shopping and bike riding, we decided to take a ride into the country. Well, we were driving in downtown Holly, which is a small town in either Northern Oakland County or Souther Livingston County in Michigan. Either way, it's definitely in Michigan...HA!

ANYHOW, this town is a cute little downtown...you can picture it- antique shops, little restaurants, parallel parking...you get the idea. Well, imagine my surprise when we are just about to drive out of the downtown area and I see a massive old house with a sign out front that reads, "Dianetics - Church of Scientology", backed up with a PACKED parking lot.

Now, whatever you choose to do with your religion is your business, but I just found it mind-bafflingly weird that there was this huge, nonetheless crowded Scientology building in tiny little Holly. For you non-southeastern Michiganians, Holly is the kind of place you'd expect to see picturesque country churches and barns, not copies of Battleship Earth. I'd expect something like that more in a bigger city...you know, the kind of place where there are enough people so you're more likely to find a group of people who actually take something that Tom Cruise endorses seriously.

Okay, I think I'm finished for now. I'll stop slacking off.

how cool is this?

2006-03-03T09:51:00.000-05:00

http://www.subversivecrossstitch.com/index.html

I'm always looking for a new creative outlet...and I will be ordering the "Bite Me" kit next week...and maybe the "Whatever" one, too. And the #@%&!! HAHAHAHAHA!

priceless.

2006-03-01T09:41:00.000-05:00

I just found my new favorite pastime. Reading the questions the worldwide salt of the earth ask on Yahoo! Answers (http://answers.yahoo.com/).

Some of my favorites:

"Why do women get fat and mean after marriage?"
"Is it okay for a 93 year old woman to date a 71 year old man?"
"Is it unfair for Nick to get spousal support from Jessica Simpson?"
"Would it be alright if I took you on a first date to the moon?"
"What is dexamethane steroid?"
"How much does it cost to be a high school cheerleader?"
"What is the punishment for assaulting a paramedic in the state of VA?"
"Is 12:00 p.m. noon or midnight?"
"What do you know about Dutch people?"
"'Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub,' seriously, what's this song about?"

I could go on and on. If you need a laugh or pick me up, go to this site. People are dumb. Hint: The "Society & Culture" section is a good one.

Booooooooooooohbah!

2006-02-23T11:28:00.000-05:00

My friend Teresa should get an award. Or actually two. One for having a career and the other for having a career and being a single mom...at the same time. Take that, Superman. You might be able to fly faster than a speeding bullet (that was Superman, right?) but change a diaper and feed a child and bathe them ALL AFTER working the entire day. You'll fall right asleep in your red tights, Superman...I guar-ON-tee that much.

I babysat for Liam, Teresa's ten month old son on Saturday. He is a funny, funny kid and very good natured. The poor boy was cutting a tooth though, which wasn't making him feel too good in the afternoon. That's totally understandable, though. Bone slicing through your skin has got to be at the top of the list of "Life's Mildly Unpleasant Experiences." Plus, when your teeth hurt, it makes everything else in your body hurt.

Anyhow, my point is this. I wish babies could talk. But since they can't (at least in language that is understandable to most full cognitively developed adults), I wish I could be like Teresa and was able to understand his behavior...it's funny how a mom knows exaclty what their baby wants judging off of their behavior. I'm telling you, when he was screaming, I felt so, so bad and helpless...I didn't want him to feel bad. But Liam and I are homies, so we worked together and got through his initial pain with some toys and a Boohbah DVD.

Speaking of the Boohbahs, they are really, really creepy. Not funny creepy. At all. Just Teletubbies creepy...yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about.

sic transit gloria...

2006-02-20T16:46:00.000-05:00

It’s always nice to feel appreciated. And useful. And important. And good for something. And it would be really nice if you knew exactly what you were supposed to do with your life and how everything is supposed to turn out.

But that doesn’t happen. Ever. And it is really frustrating, especially when I am surrounded by friends and family members and everyone else who seem to have everything planned out, everything going their way and were leaps and bounds ahead of me at their respective ages.

Now I am very grateful I have a job, a roof over my head and food on the table, but is it wrong to want more? To better myself? To be unsatisfied with the status quo and statements reeking of the ‘it could be worse’ variety? I don’t think so.

In fact, I think all of this speculating (called complaining by some) is actually a lot more positive than just sitting around and settling for what you get dished out to you. Sure, I let complacency get the best of me on occasion, but I just have to try and remember all of these affirmative thoughts when my phone’s not ringing and my email inbox is innocuously empty. And when I feel like going to grad school was a waste of time and money and ask myself why the hell I got a degree in communications and didn’t do something more useful like everyone told me to, well, those are going to be the most annoying times.

looooooooove

2006-02-14T08:52:00.000-05:00

Nothing says "I dig you" like a White Zombie CD. Or a crocheted thong.

I glanced at my 2006 Crochet Pattern A Day calendar, and yesterday's pattern was a crocheted thong. Now, call me old fashioned, but I'm not sure if I'd really be comfortable having yarn held taut in between my ass cheeks. Sorry to be so blunt, but there's really no other way to put it...just thinking about it makes me uncomfortably shift in my seat.

As for White Zombie, that's what Steve is getting for Valentine's Day...the only White Zombie CD he doesn't have. I usually don't really participate in the whole hearts and flowers thing, but I thought to get him a little something...you know, because he rocks. I don't really mind White Zombie all that much, mostly because I've seen Rob Zombie on the Independent Film Channel, and while he is a little weird, he's very intelligent and interesting to listen to...so I don't mind. I don't think I'd add the group to my list of favorite musicians, though.

I think one of the most memorable Valentine's Days for me was when I was in college and participated in a special production of Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues. The production was special because it was happening simulataneously at colleges across the country, aimed at raising awareness of violence towards women. I'm no social animal or revolutionary or anything like that, but I can recognize a good cause when I see one.

So, after your heart-shaped boxes of candy are eaten, flowers are wilted, White Zombie CDs listened to and crocheted thongs are tossed aside, think about something you can do to show love to a larger audience.

It's Girl Scout cookie time...

2006-02-13T11:17:00.000-05:00

...and I must say, I have eaten about fifteen Tagalongs this morning.

Speaking of eating, that's all I did this weekend. Eat.

Friday night was one of the best meals I have had in a long time. Steve grilled some beef shish kabob, and the vegetables were cooked, but just enough so that they were still a little crunchy. Then there was rice pilaf with peas and onions and spices in it, topped off with some Three Buck Chuck and a salad...a very summery meal. It was like a party in my mouth.

On Saturday, we had some Qdoba burritos, which is fast becoming my most favorite fast-food item ever. Saturday night I made some alfredo sauce which was a disaster, but it tasted pretty good after Steve put it in the garage to congeal for about fifteen minutes.

On Sunday, I went to lunch with my friend Melissa. She had two sick kids at the house and called me, frantic to get out of the house for a little while. I met her at Noodles & Company and had some Indonesian Peanut Sauce thingy, which was also a veritable mouth fiesta.

I just love food, and that's that. What to eat tonight? Hmmm....

The Five-Green Blanket

2006-02-08T09:32:00.000-05:00

My nephew Jay is a kid who knows what he wants. He saw me working on the afghan I made for Steve around Christmas. He studied my stitching for a few minutes, and I said to him, "Do you want me to show you how to do this?"

"Yeah," he said. But then he walked away. A four year old's attention span, I figured. He came back a minute later and said, "Colleen, I want to be a girl."

"Why?" I asked.

"So I can do what you're doing," Jay declared, pointing at my yarn and hook.

"Jay," I said. "You don't have to be a girl to do this. I can show you."

"No, just make me a blanket," he said. "A green one. With five different colors of green. And striped."

I had to laugh at his exact instructions. "Green, huh?"

Frustrated, he said "different greens, Colleen. It has to be five different colors.""Okay, okay. Should I make your brother one too?" I said.

"I guess. But not green."

Okay, Jay...you're going to get your five-green blanket. Eventually. Okay, by the time you're eighteen...I'll make it for your dorm room.

The picture of Jay at the beginning of this post was taken when I took he and his brother Max swimming this summer. When we were at my place after we got back from the pool, he found one of my scarves and made me tie it around his head so he looked like the Karate Kid. I wish my sister and brother-in-law would stop showing them all of these 80's movies...I swear Max can recite Labyrinth and The Goonies from beginning to end.

wah wah

2006-02-07T12:07:00.000-05:00

Current WIP's:

Scarf for Butthead, commissioned by Steve

A doily, because I am trying to expand my crafting life to include thread crochet. All attempts thus far have proved to be futile.

World's Ugliest Afghan (I only made a couple more blocks this past week and will post them when I remember): Progress: Ten blocks out of 200. I'm getting there...after all, this is meant to be a continual project. That way, it will be especially ugly.

Such a nice boy...

2006-02-02T08:32:00.000-05:00

"Uh...he's nice."

That was the response to the question, "So what do you think of your son?" my friend Ellen heard when she was on the phone with her son Luke's father, who just saw Luke for the first time last weekend.

"That's all you're going to say? He's NICE?" she exploded after she got of the phone. "He's nice. Nice. What about he's a miracle? He's amazing? He's cute, even!"

"It's not like you can tell a nine month old child is nice," I said. "Don't you usually determine if someone is nice by talking to them?"

"He's nice. Who says that? He's nice?" Ellen was clearly focused on the fact that Charles (a.k.a. Jackass), this guy, is a total moron. "I can't believe I slept with such an idiot."

"Well, we've all done stupid things," I said. But there was no stopping Ellen's rampage. I can't say I blame her, though.

"Last weekend, Luke was chewing on his toy phone. Stupid Jackass said, 'oh, he's practicing kissing.' How frickin' old are you, twelve? Oh my GOD!" And then the phrase of the evening again. "He's nice?"

By this point we were well past disbelief at Charles' stupidity, and were now laughing.

"I think we should make him a shirt," I said. "It can say, 'I'm Nice' on it."

"Or how about 'My Daddy Thinks I'm Nice,'" spat out Ellen. We lost it.

Meanwhile, Luke was innocently sleeping in his room, obvlivious to the fact that his father is a total moron. Oh, to be a child again...

su-su-sudio...

2006-01-31T14:59:00.000-05:00

Last night I was talking to Steve on the phone. He's in Colorado for work. I was bitching about someone we both know, going on and on about what an arrogant, egomaniacal person this is. About how I have never seen anyone so into themselves in my life. And how this person probably says their name over and over again, just because they love the way it sounds. A person who's so fake you might find some of Joan Rivers' DNA floating around in their blood.

"Well," Steve said. "It could be worse. You could be dating a person like that."

What a perspective. It made me laugh, though. In fact, Steve says and does a lot of things that make me laugh. No one will understand this but him, but if you're reading this, I keep on thinking about Sniffer the Dog (especially his jacket that matches yours) and it cracks me up.

I randomly emailed him today and told him that although I do not normally partake in activities related to Valentine's Day, I'm going to make an exception this year and give him a copy of The O'Reilly Factor for Kids and a Michael McDonald CD (his choice of album) for Valentine's Day. Because I'm looking out for him...

I really have to wonder what he's doing with me sometimes. Then again, we're talking about the same guy who seriously considered purchasing a carved wooden black bear totem pole and Phil Collins - Hits for my birthday at the suggestion of my uncle. Duh, he should know that No Jacket Required is my favorite Phil Collins album...COME ON! :)

But hey, all joking aside, we provide a function for one another. I remind him how smart he is by doing dumb things and he spots and pulls out my grey hairs. It's a symbiotic relationship.

block this! #75, 13, 86, 149 & #30

2006-01-31T08:16:00.000-05:00

Whew, I must have had a lame weekend because from the looks of this blog, all I did was sit on my couch with hook and yarn in hand. That's okay, though...sometimes you just need a weekend to do nothing.

I give you this past weekend's blocks...(sorry for the shitty pictures and unblocked squares). I've decided I'm going to use all of these squares to create the world's ugliest afghan.

Block name: #75 "Half & Half"
Difficulty: One hook (duh)
Yarns used: Lion Brand Wool Ease in Mushroom and Patons Classic Wool Merino in Chestnut Brown
Hook: Trusty old Boye size G, 4.25 MM

Block name: #13 "Circle in a Square"
Difficulty: Two hooks- some experience required
Yarns used: Knit Picks Wool of the Andes in Violet, Winter Night, Fern, Tulip & Avocado
Hook: same as above

Block name: #86 "Sunray"
Difficulty: Two hooks
Yarns used: Caron Simply Soft in Rubine Red and Embroidery Print (cleanin' out the yarn stash, folks!)
Hook: ain't nothin' but a G 4.25 MM thang, baby!

Block name: #149 "Solid Square"
Difficulty: One hook
Yarns used: Caron Simply soft in Blue Mint, Embroidery Print and Rubine Red.
Hook: take a G-uess.

Block name: #30 "Shell Lace"
Difficulty: Two hooks
Yarns used: Lion Brand Microspun in French Vanilla
Hook: I can't think of any more cutesy ways to say that I used a 4.25 MM Boye G hook. But I will say that this block wins the "Shittiest Picture Award."

coming soon...

2006-01-30T13:02:00.000-05:00

I made four (maybe five) more of the blocks this weekend. I will post them tomorrow.

block this! #55

2006-01-25T09:18:00.000-05:00

Block Name: "Centered Square"
Difficulty: One hook beginner block
Yarns used: Knit Picks Wool of the Andes in Avocado, Patons Classic Wool Merino in Chestnut Brown and Lion Brand Wool Ease in Mushroom.
Hook: Boye G hook, 4.25 MM

I've also included a finished picture of "Lacy Wheel." I'm not sure what I am going to do with all of these blocks. Maybe I will create the world's ugliest afghan. The pictures are really sh*tty, by the way. The blocks look better in person, and have not been blocked yet, which I imagine will make them look better.

block this! #64 and #42

2006-01-24T13:13:00.000-05:00

I’ve been gone for a few days…there’s been some stuff going on which I will disclose at a later time.

Anyhow, on with the important stuff. I bought the book 200 Crochet Blocks for Blankets, Throws and Afghans by Jan Eaton. This book is really cool (it has to be if I actually bought it), so I’ve decided to try and make at least three of the squares a week and post it on this little piece of cyberspace I call home.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present exhibit a…block # 64, “Sunshine Lace,” rated by the book as “one hook,” which means it is a beginner block (the book uses an icon of one, two or three crochet hooks to define the difficulty of the pattern). I used Knit Picks’ Wool of the Andes in Tulip and a Boye G (4.25 MM) hook.

I also started block #42, “Lacy Wheel,” (also rated as a one hook beginner block) last night. I am also using Knit Picks’ Wool of the Andes in Tulip, Winter Night, Violet and Fern (not finished quite yet). It was getting too late and I had to force myself to stop hooking and go to bed…which would probably explain why I came into the office late this morning. Ha! Also note neither of these blocks have actually been blocked yet.

A vignette of an overanalyer's life...

2006-01-17T11:48:00.000-05:00

Last night Steve and I went over to Vikram's to meet his new wife, Bhairvin. We somehow got on talking about Vik's experience on a whale-watching trip. Vik mentioned it was outside of Boston.

"In Gloucester, I think...you know, where those people died and they made the The Perfect Storm movie?" Vik said.

"Have you ever noticed in all boat movies there's a lot of death? Why is that?" I asked.

"Yeah, you're right. They all died in The Perfect Storm."

"And in White Squall. Titanic. Hmmm...The Poseidon Adventure."

"Well, not everyone died in The Poseidon Adventure," Vik said. "The ship broke into one small part and one big part. Everyone in the big part died."

"Okay, so not everyone dies, there's just mass death," I said.

"Yeah."

"Why is that? You know, it may not just be boat movies. Really any movies having to do with water, including pirate movies. Weird."

Bhairvin just laughed and I think Steve just ignored me because he's used to this behavior coming from yours truly.

skank-o-rama

2006-01-13T10:47:00.000-05:00

This morning at work we were talking about old t.v. shows, and after singing a rousing chorus of the Who's the Boss? theme song, we continued our discussion. I posited that there is some kind of "skank character" on a large number of television sitcoms of the 80's and early 90's.

My evidence:
- Blanche on The Golden Girls
- Aunt Rachel on Family Matters
- Mona on Who's the Boss?
- Uncle Jesse (before "Aunt Becky") on Full House
- The entire cast of Three's Company
- The entire cast of Saved by the Bell, except Screech, Mr. Belding and Jessie Spanno, who hated men.
- Elaine on Seinfeld
- Everyone on every Aaron Spelling TV show ever made, including Beverly Hills 90210 (Brenda, hello!) and Melrose Place
- Mallory on Family Ties
- Denise on The Cosby Show and A Different World
- Daisy Duke on The Dukes of Hazzard
- Charles and Buddy on Charles in Charge
- Cousin Larry and Balky's girlfriends on Perfect Strangers
- Kelly on Married...With Children

They don't call the 80's "The Decade of Decadence" for nothing...and the 90's I can't explain. Let me know if you can think of any more skanks.

fun fun fun...

2006-01-12T09:42:00.000-05:00

Ugh. I'm sick. I hope it's not avian flu. I hate being sick.

It's one of those colds where your chest hurts, and every time you feel a cough coming on, you get ready and brace yourself because it hurts like a mother. Your nose drips like a leaky faucet, and the skin around your nostrils gets rubbed raw from using so many harsh office kleenexes. There's a timpani pounding in your head and you just feel like closing your eyes. You drink gallons of water because your throat has unending scratchiness, and your eyeballs are dry.

So yeah, I'm sick.

when felting goes wrong...

2006-01-11T14:35:00.000-05:00

Actually, it didn't go wrong, it just didn't happen.

I wanted to make a felted purse, so I started fooling around with some Paton's Classic Wool Merino in Chestnut Brown, and some Knit Pick's Wool of the Andes in Avocado. The result is above. I had to lay it flat because I haven't attached the handles yet. I might make a flower for it in the Avocado, but I don't like a lot of flare on my purses.

The only thing is that it isn't felted. I liked the way it turned out just stitched, so I was apprehensive about felting it in the first place. I feigned disappointment when it came out of the washing machine looking a little fuzzy but nonetheless unchanged...deep down inside, though, I like it the way it is. Now I just have to find some obnoxious fabric to line it with...

bitchin' camaro...

2006-01-11T09:26:00.000-05:00

It's January and that usually means one thing in the fair city of Detroit, Michigan- the auto show. This year, I think the Super Bowl might be taking a little bit of the spotlight, but there's still a fair barrage of television viewers with auto show information.

On the suggestion of my car-loving mother and Steve, I looked at a picture of the new Dodge Challenger concept car. And I have to say it is pretty sexy. Much better than the god-awful Charger Dodge has on the market right now, which is just plain ugly. And I have to say GM did a good job too with the new Camaro concept. I have to say that I'm really not surprised with all of these muscle car revivals, given the number of muscle car television shows and books and whatnot currently in the market.

As a side note, my mom really knows her cars, something I've only just learned about her over the past year or so. And I mean really knows cars...she can distinguish between years and models and body types. It's amazing.

During the summer, a 1966 Chevelle was driving down the road by my parent's house. I only know it was a 1966 Chevelle, well, because my mother identified it...and I know she was right because Steve was standing right there and was pretty impressed with Di. She claims she knows about these cars because she used to work for an insurance company in the 70's and was around a lot of cars, but I think deep down inside she's a gearhead and gets really juiced up and excited when she sees an old vehicle tooling down the street. What a sweet mom.

And as for the auto show, this year I hope it's not bogged down with a bunch of hybrid propaganda crap...Tim Robbins just needs to shut up about the Prius already. It's an impractical vehicle.

face/off

2006-01-10T15:08:00.000-05:00

So I was putzing around on the internet today, and came across this celebrity face recogniton site where you upload a photo of yourself and it tells you what celebrity you resemble from a scientific comparison of facial features: http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/tryFaceRecognition.php?s=1&u=g0&lang=EN

So I'm waiting for this page to tell me my results, and it says my closest face match is...
...Elizabeth Bowes Lyon, Tom Hanks, Maria Sharapova, John Cusack (yay!), Eva Peron, Jason Biggs, Ben Affleck, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Rosa Luxembourg and Jane Addams. So basically I resemble a dude and a bunch of dead chicks. Sweet.

Obviously enraged by my comparison to Tom Hanks (even though it was offset by John Cusack) I did another picture to see if I got different results. And the database tells me there are no face matches. Hmm...I did it a third time with another picture but I am not even going to mention who came up because it is far too embarrassing and makes me feel ugly.

Maybe they're ugly pictures of me or something. I mean, I'm no Cameron Diaz but I certainly do NOT RESEMBLE Chelsea Clinton in ANY WAY! (Did I give something away?)

hands free, huh?

2006-01-10T08:57:00.000-05:00

Okay, I think there should be a law that requires people who wear those hands-free phone earpieces to also wear a shirt or badge or something that says, "I'm a dick."

Just an idea.

no more knitting

2006-01-10T08:38:00.000-05:00

Okay, I knit a few squares and it totally throws off my once competent crocheting skills. No more.

I started one of my baby shower gifts last night, and had to start it over twice because I tried about five different hooks and couldn't figure out which one to use. As I was working on it, I kept on thinking, "this looks too curved, I need to rip it all out and start over again," but dumbass me just kept on crocheting. Plus, the pattern gives a starting chain of 101, which just isn't long enough. Ugh. I don't know what it is with me and following patterns; there always seems to be something wrong with them so I rarely follow them.

So I looked at the blanket again this morning and decided I am just going to have to start the damn thing over again, making the chain extra, extra loose. I have never had that problem before, and I think it has to do with knitting this weekend...it's like the crochet gods are angry at me for straying from the fold. Oh well.

New Year's Resolutions:
-save up $5,000
- buy a new bike
- don't put up with drama from people
- re-teach myself knitting (and look what I get!)
- don't slack off on running this year

Knit one, purl two, say the f-word, rip out the stitches, start over. Repeat.

2006-01-09T11:44:00.000-05:00

So I sat down this weekend, determined to re-teach myself how to knit. I don't like knitting as much as crocheting, because it's so frickin' frustrating, but damn it, I re-taught myself and actually found it sort of enjoyable. Even though it hurts my fingers and I was secretly thinking, "god, I can't wait to crochet something again."

The funny thing is I remembered how to knit stitch, I just couldn't purl or cast on. And casting on is a bit necessary for doing the whole knitting thing. So I figured out how to do it, then I knit a square, then I learned how to purl which took me about eight hours, peppered with a lot of f-bombs and frustrated ripping out of yarns. I also had repimands from Steve, including, "Gentle!" "Eaaaaaaaasy!" and the innocuous, "Cool it!"

You wouldn't think purling is so hard, because it's just a reverse knit stitch. I think the whole "reverse" concept it what threw me off...it's like a right-handed person doing something that would be totally normal for someone who's a lefty. Oh well, I did it and managed to crank out a few garter and stockinette stitch squares that are really shitty looking. You can see the pictures at the top of this post.

When I read knitting blogs or webpages, I can't believe that knitters find crocheting so frustrating and hard to do. They're just loops made on loops made on more loops. On their behalf though, I find their craft makes my blood pressure rise rapidly, so I guess it's a two way street.

The gift cycle is coming up again soon- it's not the Christmas cycle, it's the "babies-weddings-birthdays-anniversaries-felt like making something" cycle. Ugh. My hands hurt already.

dan the man

2006-01-05T13:50:00.000-05:00

My friend Dan was inspired to start a blog. There's two posts now, but he's a pretty funny guy so I would imagine there are some nuggets of hilariousness on the horizon...especially if you're into sports!

http://danwirvin.blogspot.com/

sarah

2006-01-04T08:33:00.000-05:00

I heard from my friend Sarah the other day. I haven't heard from her in a long time, mostly because I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people.

This is surprising, especially in Sarah's case because she was one of my four friends I had when I was a student at Grand Valley State University, a.k.a. the most boring school in the world. I don't intergrate well into the general population. We also had this professor that really liked the two of us, and would always take us out to eat and give us wine. I think he even offered to send us on trips, something I think Sarah refused and I accepted. "Hey kids, free trip to Nova Scotia, who's in?"

I spent the most entertaining St. Patrick's Day of my life with Sarah and her roommate James. I'd go into details, but all i'm going to say is St. Patrick's Day is never a good enough reason to spend $3 on a bottle of Wild Irish Rose, you know, 'cause it's Irish. (Any wine that has to declare that it's "Red Wine" on the label as if we didn't already know is usually a big red flag that you should stay away).

I think the thing I liked about Sarah was that she was really good at being herself. I've always wrestled with being different things to different people, which is really bad sometimes, but she never changed for anyone, which makes for a good friend. I hope we get to see each other sometime soon...

Things I've learned in 2005...

2006-01-03T14:33:00.000-05:00

1. If you want something done, you've got to do it yourself.
2. Torque is a "twisting force."
3.Drinking alcohol on an empty stomach is a really, REALLY bad idea.
4. Driving a car with a manual transmission takes some practice.
5. In the state of Wisconsin, every single road is paved.
6. Drywall is heavy.
7. People occasionally forget about their single friends after they get married.
8. Making an afghan takes a lot longer than I think.
9. You will never make "enough" money.
10. People who aren't originally from Michigan don't like Michigan.
11. You become more and more like your parents as you get older.
12. Overanalyzation of everything is BAD.

auld lang syne, baby.

2006-01-03T10:31:00.000-05:00

Ah, nine days off. So nice. So boring. But I needed the time away from the grind.

Christmas was good, but something really frustrating happened. I turned my cell phone off on Christmas Eve because I was staying at my parents and sometimes my friends will call me late at night; perhaps to talk, or perhaps because they’ve hit the sauce a little too hard. I didn’t want to disturb my dear old mom and dad, so I did the courteous thing and shut all communication lines with yours truly d-o-w-n DOWN.

Christmas morn did soon arrive, and my dad came and woke me up. I turned my phone on and didn’t think anything of it until about an hour later when I looked at it and the damn thing was still searching for a signal.

I could feel my blood pressure rise to boiling as I did everything I could think of to fix the thing, frantic that I wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone that day. All of my "tests" turned out to be useless, so I had to start dealing with the fact that my g/d phone would not work the entire day. I even tried to call my unnamed phone company, but of course, they had to be closed, out celebrating Christmas...jeez. :)

Taking my NT personality into account, I started overanalyzing everything, first checking to see if I paid my bill even though I know I did, calling all of my friends who have the same service to see if their phones worked, and then figuring out the cost of buying a new phone.

So first thing next morning, I went to the closest unnamed telecommunications provider store and found about six other people there who were having the same problem. Aparently, said mystery wireless company had decided to update their towers, and those people who have "older phones" (which in tech-speak is more than three months old) had to replace their sim cards because they aren't compatible with the updated towers. Repeat: they UPDATED THEIR TOWERS. On CHRISTMAS DAY. Not like I have any phone calls to make or anything.

But other than that, Christmas was good. Nothing happened, except that I slipped and fell on my ass getting into my car that evening because it was raining. Only in Michigan does in rain on Christmas. Sigh...THANKFULLY, I had my wonderful MyFi with XM Satellite Radio that I received as a Christmas gift from Steve to calm me down.

(Oh, by the way, I did finish the Steve afghan and the Di afghan, PLUS a scarf for my sister. Pictures will come soon, I promise...and they all loved the gifts, which makes me glad :))

New Year's Eve was pretty uneventful, which is how I wanted to spend the evening. Steve and I went for Chinese food with my mom and dad (a yearly tradition...Chinese food on New Year's Eve with the parents) and then went back to his house and watched Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Getaway (with Steve McQueen) and we ate some fondue and drank some Three Buck Chuck. I also insisted that we watch the Times Square shenanigans, because who doesn't watch the ball drop on New Year's Eve? In retrospect I sort of wish we hadn't, only because seeing Dick Clark made me so sad. I mean, I applaud the guy for being really courageous and still doing the show in his condition, but at the same time it made me sad...I felt bad for the guy.

Enough said. Bye bye, 2005. Hello '06...it'll be a good one, I can feel it.

surprise, surprise

2005-12-23T08:24:00.000-05:00

I always relish and enjoy the behavior of people who are too cowardly to stick by their comments and insult someone they DON'T EVEN KNOW without saying who they are.

Please read the comments on the "Trapped in the White Room" post and tell me if what I said about the restaurant people was so offensive. I have a feeling the person who got me going is the same person who has been leaving posts asking me if I'm a lesbian, as if there's something so wrong with that. Hey, whatever floats your boat man...

I hope Santa Claus leaves a life in this cowardly anonymous poster person's stocking this year.

AAAAAAAAANYHOW, now that I'm all fired up, I need to tell you all about the faaaaaaabulous Christmas gift that Steve gave me last night.

Since we will be celebrating Christmas separately this year, we gave our presents early. I got him a gift card to Home Depot (already gone), a subscription to Hot Rod Magazine (so I can feed his love of all things automotive a little more), a handmade scarf (I'll get a picture), and the afghan, which he hasn't actually received and isn't finished...BUT IT WILL BE.

And from Steve, I got...(drumroll please) a MyFi! Yay! Now I can listen to hours upon hours of delicious, commercial-free satellite radio! He really took my fondness for an inconsistent variety of music into account when he was shopping...now there's a guy who uses his noggin! :)

And I am already seeing the benefits of this thing, less than 24 hours after receving it. Just this morning, I heard an XM-exclusive version of "The New Year" by Death Cab for Cutie, and last night we got to listen to uncensored Dave Attell stand-up. It was like I'd died and gone to radio heaven. Now if I can figure out a way to get some reception in this office of mine...

Trapped in the "White Room"...

2005-12-21T09:25:00.000-05:00

Last night Steve and I were at dinner, and we were sitting in front of a booth of people who were quite possibly the most entertaining people on earth on which to eavesdrop.

Their arrogance amused me.There was this one kid who was probably 21 or 22, talking about his "music career." The three older people he was with were the biggest hippies I've seen lately, and this punk was explaining to them that, "you know, my guitar solos last week were really great. I learned them in a night, and it was the first time I've used a 'wah-wah' pedal."

Oohs and aahs from the old hippies abound. "What did you play?" asked one of the hippies.

"Well, we played 'White Room' by Cream. You know that's Eric Clapton, right? And now we're working on 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond' and 'Wish You Were Here' by Pink Floyd."

Really, like these hippies don't know that ERIC CLAPTON was in CREAM. Who doesn't know that? And it's not like these people don't have EVERY PINK FLOYD ALBUM EVER MADE.

Then, to top things off, two of the people had to announce to the poor waiter who was taking their order that, "We two are vegetarians, those two aren't," in a loud voice, to show the rest of the restaurant's patrons that these Birkenstock with socks wearing, long haired, sweater-clad people are obviously superior to the rest of us omnivores in some cosmic way.

"Uh, the guacamole, is it vegetarian?" the hippie man asked.

The waiter looked at them dumbfounded. "Well, it's avocadoes. And uh, well, it's avocadoes."

"Oh, okay. We'll take some of that."

Then the arrogant "music career" kid was going on and on about how Eddie Van Halen is, "the fastest guitar player in the world" and then the old hippie starts talking about how fast you have to be to play bluegrass, and that Eddie Van Halen probably would have a difficult time playing bluegrass music. But he could learn...if he practiced.

Now, maybe it's just speculation on my part, (and let me know if I'm being presumptuous), but I think Eddie Van Halen might be able to tackle some bluegrass tunes. He's not a famous guitar virtuoso or anything. Eddie could probably learn a lot from the punk kid in the restaurant, because after all, he learned the solo to "White Room" by Cream (you know, with Eric Clapton) in "just one night."

I love people like Regis Philbin loves Triscuits. It never ceases to amaze me the things that will come out of a person's mouth.

Totally random reminiscing session of the day

2005-12-20T14:51:00.000-05:00

I just heard Alice Cooper on the radio and he made me think of things that scared the crap out of me...one thing in particular.

My grandparents had (and still have) this huge stack of LP records in their basement. In between the endless copies of Longines Symphonette and Elvis Presley gospel records, you'd find the occasional Beach Boys or Sha-Na-Na record that most likely belonged to my mom or one of her sisters.

However, one day my sister found a copy of Alice Cooper Goes to Hell in the record pile.

Have you ever seen the cover of Alice Cooper Goes to Hell? Looking at it made me feel like I was in hell! It's so scary! It's just this huge picture of Alice Cooper with a green face, almost like the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz... I'm getting chills just thinking about it.

Apart from the album cover scaring the living sh*t out of me, how rock and roll is it to find an Alice Cooper record, regardless of which one it is, in your grandparents' basement? I can guess what aunt ACGTH belonged to...most likely the one that used to con my grandma into taking my mom's 1969 Road Runner to school, citing that, "She told me I could last night," thus leaving my mom to awaken and find herself without a car. Ha.

ho ho ho, who would you know?

2005-12-19T10:01:00.000-05:00

Ah, Christmas. Too stressful to be enjoyed as an adult...It's really all for the kids. What a cop-out.

Anyhow, my hands hurt real bad from all of the crocheting I did this weekend. Only one project remains to be finished- (duh duh DUH) - the Steve afghan. And it will be done by Christmas. So I need to stop typing and start stitching. Even though I'm at work. And I don't have the afghan with me. But I can think about it.

number nine, number nine, number nine

2005-12-16T08:23:00.000-05:00

For those of you that caught the Beatles reference in the title, you've a very keen sense of...okay, you're not that keen because I think pretty much everyone gets that at some point in their life. And there's nine days until Christmas. Yeah, so, um...on with Christmas! Yay!

Anyhow, I went to go get my hair cut yesterday at this new salon. I went there because I know the owners, who are just the sweetest people ever, and because I am determined to stop salon/stylist shopping and finally settle down somewhere.

So anyhow, when I get to the salon, I meet Betsy, who is my new hairdresser. I knew this was going to be good because 1) she was friendly, 2) she was a good listener, 3) she didn't let me do anything stupid, and 4) her name is Betsy, which is one of my favorite names.

Before I could finish talking to her about the cut I wanted, she said, "We need to talk about those roots!" I didn't think they were that bad, and I explained to her that I was trying to grow out the light blonde to become a regular dirty blonde again, thus eliminating the need to highlight my hair, which can get expensive.

"We're going to cover it up, pick a color," she said.

"You pick it out," I said. I saw her turn to the red color swatches. "No red, though," I said quickly.

"Okay, no red." She picked out two colors, mixed them together, and now...

I'm a BRUNETTE! I never thought about having brown hair, but I like it. My natural color is a dirty blonde, made much lighter by highlighting my tresses since I was sixteen.

I really like it though, it makes me look not so pale and derivative of Northern Europeans. This might become an addictive thing. Insteead of piercing or tatooing, I'm just going to dye my hair every once in a while.

ha-ha-larious

2005-12-15T12:24:00.000-05:00

http://yarnpants.blogspot.com/2004/11/museum-of-kitschy-stitches-vol-iii.html

Every great while, I come across something on this old internet that leaves me doubled over...watch out, men!

you've come a long way, baby...

2005-12-08T09:14:00.000-05:00

I just found out Death Cab for Cutie got nominated for a Grammy for Plans, their new album. I really don't think they'll win though, being they're in the same category as Beck, The White Stripes, and Franz Ferdinand. Another band, The Arcade Fire, is in the "Alternative" category as well, but I have been out of the indie loop for so long I have no idea what this band is like.

Anyhow, Death Cab's got a Grammy nod. It seems like just yesterday, I was sitting in my tiny room at Campus View Townhouses just off the campus of Grand Valley State University, composing a (most-likely overanalytical) paper about the non-verbal communication patterns of infants or the films of D.W.Griffith to the sound of "The Face That Launched A Thousand Shits" or "Title and Registration."Pushed by hearing DCFC on the radio, I was telling Steve about how one of the best shows I've ever been to was a Death Cab for Cutie show in 2001 at the Magic Stick in Detroit. I drove two and a half hours from across the state, home from college, to see DCFC. Not to mention I had the worst head cold of my life. It was so worth the trip though, standing three feet away from the stage and seeing the guys from the band mingle in the crowd and talk to people. I sound like one of those old people from a Beatles or Bob Dylan documentary who are recalling the good old days.

Hopefully, though, this Grammy nod will encourage more people to not only check out Plans, but some of the group's other music.

By the way, today is the 25th anniversary of the murder of John Lennon. What a loss. It just kills me to imagine the stuff he would have created were he alive a little longer.

Oh, the c is silent!

2005-12-07T13:57:00.001-05:00

Hi Coca-Cola. This is the Ghost of Corporate Mistakes Past. I'm here to remind you of a little debacle that took place in the early 1980's called "New Coke." Looks like we're about to have a repeat performance of New Coke with your new product, Coke Blak. More like Coke blechh...And for god's sake, spell "black" correctly, please!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051207/bs_nm/food_cokeblak_dc

blah

2005-12-07T13:57:00.000-05:00

I was listening to my favorite radio personalities, Drew and Mike (www.wrif.com/drewmike) this morning, and they were talking about the sad state of music this morning, specifically how all of these American Idol contestants aren't paying their dues or working hard for their fame. Mike mentioned that it has been years since we've seen a really great "guitar hero", which made me start to think indeed, music these days is just sort of blah-blech. (Okay, just mainstream music because there's a million of you people out there with such a tingle in your bottom for indie rock because you think listening to it makes you somehow cooler than everyone else...I mean, I like me some good indie rock, but I don't boycott stuff just because the general population has "heard of it")

Speaking of music, I've decided that Ipods are a waste of money. I'll get into it some other time. I don't feel like complaining anymore.

a piece of meanness

2005-12-05T14:45:00.000-05:00

I'm bored. And I spent almost $9 on a reuben at lunch today. I have been so good about spending money lately, that a splurge was brewing. Damn you, Dan, for suggesting we go to the Bread Basket for lunch.

At any rate, Christmas is creeping up on us quickly. It seems just like yesterday it was October and I was looking at Christmas trees in all of the stores.

By the way, Convoy (1978) is quite possibly one of the worst movies ever made. It's like a version of Smokey and The Bandit, but with a message. Now why would you ruin a perfectly good formula for a movie (a la Smokey and the Bandit) and try to make it socially relevant for the time? It's just baffling.

So anyhow, Kris Kristofferson plays this renegade trucker named "Rubber Duck" and he picks up Ali McGraw (who has a Mike Brady perm in this movie) and he and all his trucker buddies start a mile long convoy through New Mexico for different reasons, but mostly for the welfare and promotion of fair rules for truckers. A good idea, but only in thought.

Besides, Convoy's attempt at comic relief is terrible...at least Smokey and the Bandit had Buford T. Justice.

oh, foo!

2005-12-02T15:33:00.000-05:00

This is such a good song. Foo Fighters are a really great band. I can't think of a bad thing they've put out. The Colour and the Shape is definitely one of my favorite albums of all time- one I'll be listening to when I'm sixty, I'm sure.

Best of You

I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break, holding you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head without your noose
You gave me something that I didn’t have but had no use
I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in- I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
Your trust, you must confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I’ve got another confession my friend- I’m no fool
I’m getting tired of starting again, somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in- I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I’ve got another confession to make- I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break, holding you

steve afghan, etc.

2005-12-01T14:32:00.000-05:00

pic of the in progress Steve afghan and scarf. Fun times.

The scarf is made of bamboo yarn and really, really nice wool.

Oh, by the way, the pic below of my crazy scarf doens't do it justice.

Do I EVER stop?

2005-12-01T08:40:00.000-05:00

I think magazines are too expensive so I never buy them. I just go to Barnes & Noble and grab a stack and read them.

Lately, I've taken to reading crochet magazines. And it never fails that I see something I like, but I just won't buy the magazine. This was the case when I was reading the crochet edition of Interweave Knits, and I saw this scarf on the cover that was a big ruffle and very cool. I didn't actually read the pattern, but I thought, "I bet I could make one of those." A picture of the scarf as seen on the magazine can be seen here: http://www.interweavecrochet.com/materials.asp#ruffle

So last Sunday, I tried to recreate the pattern. Of course, I didn't make it out of mohair like the one in the magazine, because mohair bothers me because the damned fuzz gets everywhere. I just used regular old acrylic yarn...no frills here (actually, except for the scarf...HA!)It's turned out very well so far, and I think I should say that this scarf is sort of being used for my education, as I'm using stitiches and techniques I've never used in a project. There's a pic of it above (a very ghetto one taken quite hastily)! I will post the pattern once it is actually finished.

I was reading one of the Stitch n' Bitch books at Barnes & Noble a few Fridays ago (yes I'm a huge loser), and author Debbie Stoller wrote this page about different types of knitters, which, in my opinion, was really sort of snotty. One of the categories was something like, "Old School Knitter," and was described as someone who only uses acrylic yarn and makes afghans. I don't think there's anything wrong with using regular, old yarn for projects (not all, just some). I'm sorry, but I'm not going to make someone an afghan out of merino wool or alpaca unless they're really small...like a baby. I'm on a budget, for crying out loud.

Perhaps my favorite classification was the "Free-form" knitter who is so creatively superior to everyone else that they get rid of any generic handmade gifts like scarves. I'm sorry, but if anyone takes the time to make you a handmade gift, isn't the fact that it's handmade better than the gift itself? Because the person actually took the time to work on something with you in mind? I mean, I don't have a Ph.D. from Yale or anything, but at least I can see the value in a gift. Cut it out, Stoller!

Actually, even though you can probably tell I'm not a fan of the Sn'B books, I do like the pattern for the Henry Rollins doll Stoller wrote up for one of the volumes. So rock...."CAUSE I'm a LIAR!" She had two other doll patterns, too. Joey Ramone and someone else (Joan Jett?). It would be funny if someone wrote doll patterns for Neil Diamond, Engelbert Humperdinck, Diana Ross ('cause her hair and eyes are all crazy and it would be fun to make), and of course, Phill Collins.

the high road

2005-11-30T12:26:00.000-05:00

I had a cathartic moment yesterday while driving home after work. I've decided that I am not going to analyze everything. Ever again. And I am not going to try and shape things into the way I want them to be, because things should just happen how they're supposed to happen. I need to learn to be more patient. So it was a good day. Very zen-like.

I've really been trying to improve things about my personality, etc. lately, and I think it's going pretty smoothly, with the notable exception of the whole "be better organized" thing, which is going to take a long time, and, quite possibly a miracle.

Things I've improved:
- haven't been spending as much money
- the fact that I haven't been swearing like a sailor
- starting projects and actually finishing them
- not letting things that really get to me get to me as much (got that?)
- trying not to be so negative

It's only four small things on a big list (which actually exists...ha), but it's better than nothing.

afghans and football

2005-11-29T14:26:00.000-05:00

Let me just tell you that I was a crocheting maniac this past Thanksgiving break. Even though I really only worked on *one* project (the Steve afghan), I got so much done! I found a quiet place, turned on some music and got to work. I will post some pics of the afghan tomorrow.

Anyhow, I've found that I get way more into working on projects if I've got some good music playing in the background. No TV though- it's too distracting, like when I was trying to work on a scarf last night while watching the Colts score a touchdown against the Steelers less than four minutes into the last night's MNF game, with another field goal score in close succession.

Speaking of football, it's nice to actually watch teams like Indianapolis and Pittsburgh play some realy, exciting football. Not like my former favorite team, the Detroit Lions, who, for lack of a better, more ladylike term, suck a big fat one. My grandma could play a better offense than the Lions. Seriously, Mr. Ford. Fire GM Matt Millen already and try to keep a coach around for more than three seasons. And tell whoever your flavor of the week coach is to tell Joey Harrington to do something about his bitchy little attitude...dissing poor Mooch to the press after he started Joey when he should have been on a plane back to Oregon crying like the nancy boy he is about his quarterback rating- which is one of the WORST in the NFL by the way.

I used to defend the Lions along with everyone else in Detroit, always having faith that each year, they'd get a little better. I'm finished with them though, especially after the Thanksgiving performance last Thursday. I am going to be a football generalist from now on.

I'm no religious zealot, but...

2005-11-29T09:06:00.000-05:00

...what is the deal with all of these people who are so against any display of Christmas to the point where people can't even say "Merry Christmas" to someone without fear of offending them?

And the nativity scene people who protest? They're the worst. It's not like I (or anyone for that matter) protest menorahs or Kwanzaa displays. Other religions don't bother me, and I'm neither Jewish or African. Whatever floats your spiritual boat, brothers and sisters. Everyone should just quit complaining and worrying about someone being "offended." You're ALREADY offending ME! Let people celebrate whatever holiday connected with whatever religion they want and shut the heck up already!

I wonder in heavily Muslim or Jewish countries if the religious minorities protest Ramadan or Passover displays (if there is such a thing)? Who knows. Who cares. Go out and wish someone a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah or Kwanzaa today!

Or just celebrate Festivus.

more haikus

2005-11-28T08:39:00.000-05:00

haikus are fun...such a quick creative outlet. i wrote some on different stream of consciousness topics. notice my flagrant avoidance of capital letters. it makes the haikus look more serious, like wearing horn-rimmed glasses makes a person look more hip and intelligent. yeah.

thanksgiving
lots of stuff to eat
my family is large/loud
thank god for my car

my mom
makes the best cookies
likes to watch tv and bowl
her name is di

nick and jessica
married a moron
why is everyone surprised?
chicken of the sea

an anonymous labor union...
powerful union
has detroit by the balls
sell that cottage now

steve
genius engineer
likes michigan? not really
had a camaro

xiaohua
my chinese homie
lives at the pottery barn
turn on some celine

teresa
liam is her boy
lives with me in the ghetto
likes guys in IROC's

kwame kilpatrick
mayor of detroit?
please tell me this is not true
count the votes, freeman

Teresa & Colleen vs. Yeats & Frost

2005-11-28T08:13:00.000-05:00

Teresa found these really funny mullet haikus on Wednesday. We both tried to write our own. I think we did a pretty good job following the proper "5-7-5" format.

Colleen's Mullet Haikus

Full mullet plumage
Keeps my neck warm in winter
Shows all i am rawk

or

Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
Ride in my Camaro, man
Play some Motley Crue

one more...

It's short on the sides
Looks good with my slayer shirt
It's permed in the back

and

I've got a mullet
Cook meth in my trailer park
Like to date cousins

Teresa's Mullet Haiku (much better than mine, in my opinion)

I live in Taylor
Chicks dig my stringy mullet
Stairway to Heaven

one of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not the same

2005-11-23T11:48:00.000-05:00

Compare this list with a list of your favorite year on http://www.rockonthenet.com/amas/index.htm. Most of you can already guess the diatribe brewing in my head. Music is in a sad, sad state these days. I picked 1991, because you can't go wrong with Phil Collins, MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Merle Haggard and Motley Crue (so rawk!) in one show. One good thing about the AMA's is that they remain consistent in picking music that sucks to win their awards. (Oh, by the way, Dick Clark. Thanks for cutting off the Rolling Stones on last night's AMA show...that's like committing cultural treason).

Ah, How I yearn for the days when American Idol didn't exist and music didn't follow a formula. Be gone with you, Hillary Duff and Lindsey Lohan!

Winners at the 33rd annual American Music Awards: (2005)
Pop-Rock:
Male artist: Will Smith
Female artist: Gwen Stefani
Band, duo or group: The Black Eyed Peas
Album: "American Idiot," Green Day
• Soul-R&B:
Male artist: R. Kelly
Female artist:
Mariah Carey
Band, duo or group: Destiny's Child
Album: "Destiny Fulfilled," Destiny's Child
• Country:
Male artist:
Tim McGraw
Female artist:
Gretchen Wilson
Band, duo or group: Brooks & Dunn
Album: "Live Like You Were Dying," Tim McGraw
• Rap/Hip-Hop:
Male artist: Eminem
Female artist: Missy Elliott
Band, duo or group: The Black Eyed Peas
Album: "The Massacre," 50 Cent
• Adult Contemporary:
Artist:
Kelly Clarkson
• Latin Music:
Artist: Shakira
• Breakthrough:
New artist: Sugarland
T-Mobile Text-In Award (voted by public): Kelly Clarkson

dating advice from Uncle Matt

2005-11-22T09:07:00.000-05:00

"Maybe you should hold the crazy stories until the fourth or fifth call. Lure them in, then whack 'em."

ha

2005-11-21T16:29:00.000-05:00

"Anger is an energy, and shit can be beautiful. The proof is in the pearl." - Johnny Rotten